National

Struggling website Google+ threatens suicide
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Struggling website Google+ threatens suicide

March 23rd, 2012 | by Nick
Mountain View, CA – In a not-too-surprising outcry stemming from lack of acceptance, the struggling social networking website Google+ has been audibly lamenting ever being born with threats of self-harm and suicide. The...
Arby’s Rated “Best Place To Work” In Fargo.
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Arby’s Rated “Best Place To Work” In Fargo.

March 23rd, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Fargo, ND – Arby’s located at 1415 42nd ST S. Fargo, ND has been voted “Best Place To Work” after a recent poll was conducted on employees around the city.  Arby’s motto “It’s Good Mood...
Rock 102 FM’s news radio makeover causes expected uproar
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Rock 102 FM’s news radio makeover causes expected uproar

March 22nd, 2012 | by Nick
Fargo, ND – Was there ever any doubt that residents occupying the broadcast area of the Rock 102 FM radio frequency would voice their discontent over the channel’s new talk radio format changeover? Not in the...
Moorhead Police Arrest McDonalds Drive-thru Speaker
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Moorhead Police Arrest McDonalds Drive-thru Speaker

March 21st, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Moorhead, MN – Police officers arrested a Moorhead McDonalds drive-thru speaker earlier this morning.  Police reports state the drive-thru speaker was being “confrontational” and “speaking funny” to...
Tales of a Struggling Economy: Garbage Peddler Pete Wrigley, Jr.
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Tales of a Struggling Economy: Garbage Peddler Pete Wrigley, Jr.

March 20th, 2012 | by Nick
Fargo, ND – The less-fortunate have fallen on even harder times than we could have possibly imagined. As evidenced by the photo shown here, a downtown Fargo area transient was exposed recently as an utterly shameless trash...
Minot Man “Didn’t See” Train.  Proceeds To Crash Into It.
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Minot Man “Didn’t See” Train. Proceeds To Crash Into It.

March 20th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Minot, ND – A 27 year old Minot man was injured Friday afternoon after his vehicle crashed into a MOVING train.  Police say Jordan Avery disregarded four vehicles that were waiting for the train, apparently just said fuck...
The Three Affiliated Tribes of Fort Berthold Reservation Setting Up a Highway Patrol Unit.
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The Three Affiliated Tribes of Fort Berthold Reservation Setting Up a Highway Patrol Unit.

March 19th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
New Town, ND – The Three Affiliated Tribes of Fort Berthold Reservation are setting up a highway patrol unit.  It has come to the FM Observers attention that 4 horses, 4 spears, and 4 tomahawks were ordered in.  The Three...
Priest Arrested In India for Sexually Assaulting A Minnesota Girl In 2004.
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Priest Arrested In India for Sexually Assaulting A Minnesota Girl In 2004.

March 18th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Grand Forks, ND – A priest touching made national headlines due to one glaring difference: victim was a female.  Joseph Palanivel Jeyapaul, 57 was arrested for sexually assaulting two girls in 2004 and 2005 while being a...
Lemmings Forming Lines As iPad 3 Is Released.
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Lemmings Forming Lines As iPad 3 Is Released.

March 16th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
“Something squishy is in my pants” Fargo, ND – Every few months there is a big product release where people are willing to wait in line for hours upon hours in order to get the chance to buy some shit they...
“March Madness” Defense Fails Miserably In Court
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“March Madness” Defense Fails Miserably In Court

March 16th, 2012 | by Nick
Fargo, ND – The Observer is surprised to learn that yet another hapless defendant and his bumbling pro bono lawyer went with the “March Madness” defense, only to get laughed at by a veteran judge who has...