Author Archives: Cody Marthaller

About Cody Marthaller

I'm biologically human. Full-Time Superhero. Part-Time Human.

Windows 8 Updates

Owning a Microsoft Windows 8 Computer

Windows 8 Updates


Jim: Hey Todd.  Can you send an e-mail to our very valuable customer who contacted us today for me please?  My computer needs to reboot for a Microsoft update.

Todd: No can do Jim.  I’m already in the middle of a Microsoft update.  We’ll just have to contact him tomorrow.


Next day….


Jim: I have the customer on the phone but another Microsoft update popped up and it started to install itself.  Can you take this?

Todd: Sure.  Transfer him over.  Wait.  I didn’t postpone another update and now it decided to automatically install itself.  Says it’s going to restart soon.  We’ll have to call them back tomorrow.


Jim: Todd can you….

Todd: No I can’t.  I turned on my computer and updates are installing.  I have to wait until that’s done for me to get to my desktop.


Later that day….


Jim: Todd, do you kn……….

Todd: Updates….installing updates…..more updates JIM!!!  LEAVE ME ALONE!!


Next day….


Jim: Well we lost our top account Todd.  We’ll probably be out of jobs any day now.  It was nice working with you.

Todd:  Yessssssss.  Finally got back to the desktop.  What was that you were saying Jim?


One Million Moms Sucks

One Million Moms Group Wants Kmart’s ‘Ship My Pants’ Commercial Pulled From The Air

One Million Moms SucksThe every so annoying One Million Moms Group, decided they still lead pathetic lives and needed something to bitch about.  This time around its Kmart’s new ‘Ship My Pants’ commercial.

This pathetic group wants Kmarts ‘Ship My Pants’ commercial pulled off the air because it suggests people are shitting their pants.

The group, One Million Moms (OMM), wrote on its website that the ad is “disgusting” and “ridiculous” and “should be pulled off the air immediately.”

I here at the FM Observer suggest to you One Million Moms (OMM) to maybe look back at your own lives because surely you have shit your own pants at one point in time.  Lifes to short to hate OMM, you dirty pant shitters.  Are you jealous of pant shitters?  Did poopy pants scar your weak petty minds at one point?  What is it that you have any poopy pants?  Weirdos.


Anyways, Congratulations Kmart for providing us sane and normal people with a very funny commercial.

Keebler Iced Animal Cookies Game

Name That Animal Cookie




How To Play:

1 Look at picture.

2. Try and guess what animal the cookie is supposed to be.



1. No cheating!  You are not allowed to go get yourself a bag of these glorious things so you can examine then eat the cookies yourself.

Here is your one and only hint.  The picture below is the kind of bag the cookies came in.  I crossed out the animals on the front of the bag because it could have possibly gave away the answers.


Keebler Iced Animal Cookies Game


Let’s get started!



 Frosted Animal Cookie 1



Frosted Animal Cookie 2



Frosted Animal Cookie 3



Frosted Animal Cookie 4



Frosted Animal Cookie 5



Frosted Animal Cookie 6


Can you guess them all correctly?  Leave your answers in the comments section below.


Dont Speak it. Ecard it.

I Only Speak Ecard Now.

You’ve seen them.  You’ve probably posted one, two, or twelve hundred.  Ecards are the new scourge of facebook.

Everyone’s original thoughts have now finally gone the way of the dodo bird.  Intellectual thinking has vanished.  Poof.  Gone.  It seems everyone I know now only speaks in ecards now.

It goes like this: One wakes up in the morning, logs onto facebook and thinks, “man..I gotta post something deep and inspirational.”  They then proceed to comb facebook for an ecard that relates to something they are thinking so they can share this deep moment.  They don’t find anything so they visit the ecard website.  After careful consideration they share an ecard on facebook.

Live Long Enough To Shit

Perfect.  Now your friends are hopefully inspired for the rest of the morning.  You can finally continue on with the day.

Moving on, you head to work.  Having to deal with dumbass coworkers is hell.  We all know that.  What better way to express your outrage than an ecard.  No need to talk here.  Let’s ecard it!  Combing facebook you see a friend posted an ecard you agree with.  How can it be?  Is this person experiencing the same workplace crap that you are?  We are so alike! I must share.

I Wish You Were As Productive As Your Rectum Is

Great, great.  Now that that is out of your system it’s time for a break.  Wait, you’re feeling goofy so you head into the bathroom where you can’t be bothered and share something funny.  You must only show it in ecard form as that is the only way your friends can understand you now.

*combing the ecard website

Ahh perfect.  You found one.  Just what you were thinking.  *Share


Hahaha.  You pat yourself on the back because you made a funny.  You realize you haven’t talked to a soul yet today and that’s fantastic and completely normal.


Alright! Work is done and you’re at home.  There you are sitting on your patio alone.  Not sure why.  You realize you better ecard what it’s like to be you right now on your patio.  There has to be an ecard for it.  Yes!  Indeed there is!



Your husband tells you to come in.  You don’t speak to your husband anymore either.  You only ecard him.  So, you pull up your computer and BAM!  You ecard him your thoughts.

Dinner Party Event Ecard

You huddle into your room to watch Honey Boo Boo that you had previously recorded while your husband is probably thinking about divorcing you.


So there you have it.  A day in the life of a human being in the year 2013 where ecards through facebook have become the new means of communication.


Don’t speak it!  Ecard it!

Dont Speak it.  Ecard it.

A Blast From The Past

Every blog or entertainment website has a blast from the past post so I figured the FM Observer deserved one.  Below are various pictures from the 80’s and 90’s to get your nostalgia on.  You can post only so many pictures before I crash your browser so stay tuned for a second post.

mcdonalds_pals crossfire view_master squish_ballwwf_wrestle_figures

baseball_cards blurp_balls bubble_tape candy_bracelets clearphone Contra Converse-Backjam-Mid-1994-Grandmama dino-pebbles dont_wake_daddy double_dare duke_nukem_3d dunkaroos frenchtoastcrunchOriginal-732821 garbage-pail-kids ghostbusters_cereal goosebumps_books heinz_ez_squirt He-ManShe-Ra3 homer_butterfinger jem jordan_pippen_rodman la_gear_light_up_sneakers madballs magic_middles mcdonalds_pals mcdonalds_toys my_first_car my_pet_monster nestle_quik nickelodeon_gack nintendo_entertainment_system nintendo_nes NintendoSystemCereal pogs popples post_oreo_cereal reebok_pump slap_bracelets smelly_stickers sprinkle_spangles super_soaker_50 talk_and_play the_reading_rainbow tmnt_90s trix_halloween_glow_in_the_dark_tattoos trolls uforce_nintendo wheres_waldo wolfenstein_3d x-men_tiger_handheld 3d_doritos 90s_shark_bites american_online Animaniacs_Logo

Fargo Potholes

The Cities of Fargo, West Fargo, and Moorhead All Hate You

Fix itAs I was driving around in my car today it came to my attention that the cities of Fargo, West Fargo, and Moorhead hate everyone and want to punish you with potholes to death.

Why they would want to punish us or my car is confusing.  They want people to leave the state even faster?  My car didn’t do anything to any of these cities so why the hate?  That is the question everyone needs answered.

Every street I drove on and I mean EVERY SINGLE STREET, there were potholes everywhere that wanted to kick me and my car’s ass.  Below is what I literally felt like driving around town.


Every turn, every lane, there was disaster waiting for me.  “Alright I’m going to be smart about this and get into another lane.  Dang…gotta turn here, ahhh dammit!  Pothole right after the turn.  There goes my strut!  Better get into the other lane.  Ahhh dammit!  Didn’t see that pothole because the car in front of me.  There goes my tire!  Going to pass this car here to get away from the po….dammit!  Another pothole in between lanes!  There goes my entire underside!  I’m going to just close my eyes the rest of the way home.”  Any bump or crash will just be another pothole I told myself.

I finally arrived home with a mangled car that resembled nothing of its former self and I have the cities of West Fargo, Fargo, and Moorhead to thank.

Please, do me a favor and visit and literally just report the entire city.  As you can see below, I went ahead and submitted a pothole.

Submit a pothole Fargo

Submit a pothole Fargo

I’ll sit right here and await their reply.

Fargo Weather

Hundreds of Missing Fargo Residents Found

Fargo WeatherFargo, ND – It’s been a very cold and depressing winter season this year.

This has left hundreds of out-of-state family members worried as they haven’t heard from their loves ones who live in the Fargo tundra for quite some time.

Yesterday, neighbors all around the city have started to see their neighbors whom they haven’t seen for months, crawl, hop, roll, and gimp out of their front door unexpectedly.

One neighbor described it as something out of a horror movie.

Haven’t seen ‘ol Jim in about 4 months.  Then all of a sudden there he is in his underwear rolling himself out his front door.  Looks like he hasn’t shaved in 4 months and his underwear looked to be dirty.  He looked absolutely awful.

Jim is just one of hundreds who seem to have “hibernated” in their homes this year due to the terrible winter weather.  With warmer temperatures in the horizon, these hibernators seem to have awaken from their deep sleep.

We were able to speak to Douglas Bumble who has been hibernating in his room with five blankets and an electric heater since December 1st.  He hasn’t stepped outside since.

I don’t really know who you are but I’m hungry and I’d like to tan in the sun now please.


We hope they all still have their jobs and encourage them to contact their out-of-state family members as soon as they know what month it is.

The Fargo Police Department will be following up with theses hibernators and close all missing persons reports.


March Madness 2013

One Thing About March Madness That Annoys Me

March Madness 2013Dunks.

Dunks you say?  Yes dunks.  A lot of these dunks I’ve seen while watching March Madness have left me shaking my head at times.

Everytime someone dunks the crowd oozes in excitement and the teams bench goes crazy.  Some guy dunks and the crowd goes, “ohhhhhhhh nah he didn’t.”  Oh..oh he did.

Why would dunks annoy you you ask?  Well, because the dude is usually 6ft 8.  All they need to do is hop and they pretty much dunk it.  Trip?  It’s a dunk.  Accidental sneeze?  Slam flying dunk.  You ever play basketball with your little niece or nephews or whatnot where everyone is shorter then you?  Well that’s pretty much these guys.  I can dunk.  I can school every little kid at basketball any time I want I’m that good.  I’ll dunk over them any day of the week.  They got NOTHING on me.

Basically these centers are just tall and stand there quite a bit.  Here is how the recruitment process goes.  “Hey you’re really tall.  Would you like a college scholarship to be tall and hop dunk some balls in?  Yes?  Greeeeaaaaat.”

If I see someone that is 6ft 3 or under dunk it then I’m impressed.  Anyone else, you’re that guy playing the nieces and nephews.  Do your dunk and slowly jog on over to the other side of the court there buddy.  They need your blocking ability.  Or just your large human mass to stand there with your hands up.