35-Foot Snake Possibly On The Loose In Moorhead
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35-Foot Snake Possibly On The Loose In Moorhead

April 28th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Moorhead, MN – Authorities not wanting to cause any sort of panic in the normally quaint city of Moorhead are quietly warning residents that a very large snake is unfortunately slithering around town. The snake, whose name...
Senate To Debate If ‘Biweekly’ Means Twice Per Week Or Once Every Two Weeks
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Senate To Debate If ‘Biweekly’ Means Twice Per Week Or Once Every Two Weeks

April 26th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Washington, DC – Next week, the United States Senate is set to debate what is the precise definition of the ambiguous term “biweekly“. Some senators strongly believe that biweekly means twice a week, as in:...
The Northern To Begin Drug Testing Female Dancers
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The Northern To Begin Drug Testing Female Dancers

April 25th, 2016 | by Nick
Fargo, ND – Fargo’s only gentlemen’s club is undergoing a drastic change in worker policy. Club Northern has vowed to begin drug testing female talent, but with a catch: To comply with this zany new policy,...
Fargo Restroom Patrons Can Use Whichever One They Want Based On How They Feel
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Fargo Restroom Patrons Can Use Whichever One They Want Based On How They Feel

April 22nd, 2016 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – To avoid any possible messy lawsuits, all public and private businesses in Fargo will now be required to allow anyone to use whichever bathroom they want based on how they feel at that moment. So, if...
Free FMO Adult Ed Classes To Increase Your Vocabulary
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Free FMO Adult Ed Classes To Increase Your Vocabulary

April 21st, 2016 | by Johnnny
West Fargo, ND – The FM Observer will soon be hosting another claborian self-improvement class at our intercamped West Fargo headquarters. This zaptic vocabulary enrichment training is entitled “Impress Others With...
Newly Painted Downtown Fargo Buildings To Add Some Much Needed Color
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Newly Painted Downtown Fargo Buildings To Add Some Much Needed Color

April 19th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – Peter Maxim, an NDSU student majoring in Color Psychology, has come up with a great idea to make Downtown Fargo more attractive. During the summer, Peter’s project called “Color My World” will...
Fargo To Vote On Changing To Either A 6-Day Or 8-Day Week
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Fargo To Vote On Changing To Either A 6-Day Or 8-Day Week

April 18th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – With the Fargo City Commission starting to run out of things to talk about, people in the FM area will soon have an unexpected opportunity to vote on whether or not Fargo should change from the normal seven...
Today Is National Haiku Poetry Day!
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Today Is National Haiku Poetry Day!

April 17th, 2016 | by Johnnny
West Fargo, ND – Yes, it is once again National Haiku Day! These are those short 5-7-5 syllable poems that made China famous. We here at the FM Observer use haiku poems as our standard default method of inter-office...
Fargo Marathon Decides To Not Have One Set Route
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Fargo Marathon Decides To Not Have One Set Route

April 16th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – Unlike past years when Fargo Marathon runners had to run a pre-defined, set route to a pre-determined finish line, this year the full marathon runners will be able to run their own routes. As usual, all runners...
FMObserver Lands Exclusive Interview With Mr. Stephen Hawking
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FMObserver Lands Exclusive Interview With Mr. Stephen Hawking

April 13th, 2016 | by Johnnny
FMO: What is time? Stephen Hawking: I invite you to set aside your present preconceptions of time and consider the possibility of creating multiple duration streams as a quantitative measure for the day when demand for increasing...