California Drought To Be Quickly Replaced By Giant Mudslides

January 6th, 2016 | by Johnnny
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If you pray for rain, you gotta deal with the mud too.

Rio Linda, CA – The Good News is that the California drought will soon be over. The Bad News is that the state will soon be one gigantic mudslide. Climatologists at our FMObserver headquarters now believe that California will no longer exist as we currently know it. Within about two wet weeks, the Golden State will go from a D-4 Exceptionally Extreme Drought to an MS-4 which is Mudslide Max. The main course served at all restaurants in California will soon be Mud Pie. Instead of being a stick-in-the-mud, people will be a-stuck-in-the-mud. Once all the rain clouds finally move through, the skies will be as clear as mud. Whatever it says on your mailbox now, after it’s all over, your name is mud. James Taylor will be singing your new state song: Mud Slide Slim. But, hay, don’t forget to remember the Good News: At least your D-4 drought is over!


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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express.