Local

Prehistoric Rabbit Femur Located In West Fargo
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Prehistoric Rabbit Femur Located In West Fargo

December 1st, 2017 | by Nick
West Fargo, ND – What was once the territory of the Gargantuan Arctic Hare is now the coveted land of homebuyers and builders residing in points West. This truth was revealed to excavators during a foundation dig in what is...
Trump Names Bali Volcano, Mt. Agung, As New Top Advisor
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Trump Names Bali Volcano, Mt. Agung, As New Top Advisor

November 29th, 2017 | by Nina Verbena
Washington, D.C. – After losing a number of top advisors in recent weeks, President Trump filled one of the vacant slots with a highly unusual appointment today. Mt. Agung, the active volcano currently erupting in Bali, has...
Aging Presidential Administration Ships Horse Masks To Puerto Rico
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Aging Presidential Administration Ships Horse Masks To Puerto Rico

October 17th, 2017 | by Nick
San Juan, Puerto Rico – After playfully tossing paper towel rolls to locals seriously affected by hurricane Irma, Donald Trump has seemingly permitted a shipment of latex horse masks to Puerto Rico. To the aid of the...
Eddie Money Cover Band ‘Edward Currency’ To Open For Eddie Money
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Eddie Money Cover Band ‘Edward Currency’ To Open For Eddie Money

September 21st, 2017 | by Nick
Mahnomen, MN – An upcoming tour stop for classic rock icon Eddie Money could get even more interesting than it previously was with a last-minute addition to the show’s lineup. The scheduled opening act being forced to...
Fargo American Idol Audition Winner Lied About Age
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Fargo American Idol Audition Winner Lied About Age

September 6th, 2017 | by Nick
Fargo, ND – Auditions for the hit game show American Idol took a pit stop in Fargo today with much ado. Both young and old, women and men from parts known and unknown came forth to profess their talents to a small array of...
Area Man Cancels Plan To Follow Solar Eclipse Across United States Using Solar-Powered Jetpack
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Area Man Cancels Plan To Follow Solar Eclipse Across United States Using Solar-Powered Jetpack

August 11th, 2017 | by Nick
Fargo, ND – Area mad scientist Viddio Burstweiler wanted to be the first man to traverse a solar eclipse’s entire path of totality as the moon followed it. He noticed that the moon’s umbral shadow will take a...
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Trump Administration Considering Travel Enforcement To New Arctic Iceberg

July 17th, 2017 | by Nick
Washington, DC – Last week, in the thrall of a red-hot northern hemisphere summer, the shockingly brittle Larsen C Ice Shelf buckled under the pressure and shed a few trillion tons of unneeded weight. This signifies a huge...
Area Police Setting Up Four Hundred Twenty 420 Checkpoints
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Area Police Setting Up Four Hundred Twenty 420 Checkpoints

April 20th, 2017 | by Nick
Fargo, ND – Via a confidentially anonymous series of trusted fake news sources, the Observer has learned that area police will be staging 420 “420 checkpoints” around the region today. Four hundred and...
Gmail Now Permitting Use Of Emoji In New Email Addresses
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Gmail Now Permitting Use Of Emoji In New Email Addresses

April 18th, 2017 | by Nick
Palo Alto, CA – Great news this day for emoji fans and horrifying news for emoji haters. That little smileyface icon you’ve fallen in love with using in messages has taken one step closer to formally joining the...
United Airlines Expecting Insignificant Revenue Shortfall Amidst Controversy
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United Airlines Expecting Insignificant Revenue Shortfall Amidst Controversy

April 12th, 2017 | by Nick
Louisville, KY – $36 billion in annual revenue could turn into a mere $33 billion after video of United airline staff violently re-appropriating or re-accommodating or re-moving or whatever they call what they did to...