National

Mall Santa Very Affectionate With Your Kids
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Mall Santa Very Affectionate With Your Kids

December 17th, 2014 | by Nick
Mall Santa is getting awful cozy with your child, don’t you think? USA—Every year around Christmas time, your friendly neighborhood mall Santa welcomes your child onto his lap for a memorable pose. The jolly old replica...
Heineken Home Deliveries Being Well Received
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Heineken Home Deliveries Being Well Received

December 11th, 2014 | by Johnnny
West Fargo, ND – Some towns still have home delivery services of milk from the milkman. Other home deliveries might include hot pizza and junk mail. One of the best days in our neighborhood is when the Heineken Man makes...
Ted Talks Top Ted, Ted Tedman, Trucking To Town To Talk Teds
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Ted Talks Top Ted, Ted Tedman, Trucking To Town To Talk Teds

December 8th, 2014 | by Nick
Fargo, ND—The top Ted of Ted Talks, Ted Tedman, is coming to town for a “Talkin’ Ted” Ted Talk. Ted Talks scheduled two Ted Tedman Ted Talks at the Travelodge the weekend of January 8th and 9th....
More Memorable Moments From Cody Marthaller
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More Memorable Moments From Cody Marthaller

November 30th, 2014 | by Johnnny
As mentioned in a previous post, we recently lost Cody Marthaller, who was a dear friend and also a co-founder of this website. Back in 2004, Cody wrote: “Some time in life something will strike hard, but you just get back...
Man Riding Bike To Liquor Store Refuses To Re-Evaluate Life
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Man Riding Bike To Liquor Store Refuses To Re-Evaluate Life

November 29th, 2014 | by Nick
Fargo, ND—Upon riding his janky old Huffy to the Nestor off-sale for the 5th time this week, local drunkard Gendle Mungripper still actively refuses to re-evaluate what you or I would call an unfortunate life situation....
Government To Begin Grouping People Into “Sick Camps” By What Diseases We Have
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Government To Begin Grouping People Into “Sick Camps” By What Diseases We Have

November 26th, 2014 | by Johnnny
Washington, DC – With the help of the CDC (Centre for Disease Control), Big Government will soon be organizing communities into groups of people based on what diseases we have. Since Big Government already has access to all...
Exceedingly Mediocre Restaurant Tip Goes Viral
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Exceedingly Mediocre Restaurant Tip Goes Viral

November 26th, 2014 | by Sam Wigness
Coon Rapids, Minn. — Applebee’s waitress Nicole MaHobbes’s Tuesday night shift ended in misery after she received a tip so extremely average that it could only be explained as “an obvious insult.”...
From The Archives: Man Trapped In Woman’s Body Yearns For Freedom
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From The Archives: Man Trapped In Woman’s Body Yearns For Freedom

November 24th, 2014 | by Nick
News of yore, dated 14th June, Eighteen Hundred and Ninety-Five Fargo, ND—Local cowboy Theddy Crumpsmith longs to be free, the Observer has learned. Crumpsmith is suffering from a disorder not well known to mankind; one...
Marijuana-Scented Candles Frustrating Police
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Marijuana-Scented Candles Frustrating Police

November 20th, 2014 | by Kitz
Fargo, ND – Police in Fargo say a recent uptick in disturbance calls can be attributed to the growing popularity of marijuana-scented candles. Dispatchers estimate they have received approximately 420 complaints about...
BREAKING: Your Mortal Soul Now Belongs To This Warlock
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BREAKING: Your Mortal Soul Now Belongs To This Warlock

November 18th, 2014 | by Nick
Fargo, ND—The Observer would like to regretfully inform you that your mortal soul, however puny and insignificant it may be, now belongs to this devious warlock. Yes, you’re really screwed now. It was this whispering...