National

Woman Lists Infant Child On Ebay
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Woman Lists Infant Child On Ebay

August 27th, 2015 | by Nick
In another edition of You Can’t Make This Stuff Up (But We Did Anyway), an area mom has listed her infant son, Bemmen, as a bidding item on popular online auction site Ebay. “Kid was born in a hot air balloon,...
Haunted Corn Maze Hiring 20 Children Of The Corn
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Haunted Corn Maze Hiring 20 Children Of The Corn

August 25th, 2015 | by Nick
Moorhead, MN—Local terror attraction Haunted Corn Maze is in search of blonde-haired, pale-faced, ghoulish children for its upcoming Children Of The Corn exhibit. Area parents, take heed: if you think your prepubescent...
North Korea To Trademark New Time Zone
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North Korea To Trademark New Time Zone

August 10th, 2015 | by Nick
With news that North Korea is planning to extract itself from a time zone shared with Japan comes the apparent corporate branding of said time zone. In bold opposition to Greenwich Mean Time (GMT), North Korea will file an...
Woman Living In Hammock Above Fargo Park
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Woman Living In Hammock Above Fargo Park

July 10th, 2015 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – One of our best junior reporters (who recently attended FMO Summer Camp) somehow discovered a woman living up in a hammock in Fargo’s Lindenwood Park. Our on-the-scene reporter cleverly asked the lady why...
Zebra Muscles Invade Red River Zoo
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Zebra Muscles Invade Red River Zoo

July 9th, 2015 | by Nick
Fargo, ND—Red River Zoo officials have gleefully added zebra muscles to their fleet of exotic animal inventory. A big, buff zebra named “Junto” is the zoo’s newest member. He’s 6’3, 884lbs of...
Area Man 3-D Prints Lusty, Dead-Eyed Carpool Lane Passenger
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Area Man 3-D Prints Lusty, Dead-Eyed Carpool Lane Passenger

July 7th, 2015 | by Nick
Fargo, ND—The good ol’ high-occupancy vehicle (HOV) lane. It’s what all solo drivers long for during that treacherous afternoon commute. Do you ever wish you could drive freely down the wide-open carpool...
Fargo Shooting Park To Add Golf Driving Range
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Fargo Shooting Park To Add Golf Driving Range

June 16th, 2015 | by Nick
Fargo, ND—The Fargo Shooting Park has decided to jazz things up a bit with the implementation of a golf driving range. The shooting park is adding a golf ball dispenser, so bring your guns and your clubs along on your next...
Fargo Man Discovers iPod’s Song Shuffle Algorithm
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Fargo Man Discovers iPod’s Song Shuffle Algorithm

June 4th, 2015 | by Nick
Fargo, ND—iPod owners will be quick to tell you that they love using the device’s “shuffle” feature to play a random assortment of music. It liberates the user from the responsibility of having to pick which...
Event: Weekly Spam Email Poetry Reading
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Event: Weekly Spam Email Poetry Reading

May 26th, 2015 | by Nick
Fargo, ND—Spam email: the scourge of the inbox. We all get it. Hell, some of us have even replied to one or two. Have you ever gotten a Spam email so over-the-top you just had to share its contents? Did you ever feel like...
Google Robot Beats Human At Bocce Ball
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Google Robot Beats Human At Bocce Ball

May 19th, 2015 | by Nick
Signifying the rapid progression of the artificial intelligence takeover, a Google-owned ATLAS robot at the Institute for Human and Machine Cognition (IHMC) recently beat a human at a game of bocce ball. It not only beat the...