National

Brazil President-Elect A Little Too Obsessed With Sexual Education
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Brazil President-Elect A Little Too Obsessed With Sexual Education

November 11th, 2018 | by Nick
  Riberao Preto, BRAZIL – From our southerly American neighbor Brazil comes news at the forefront of their political landscape. President-elect Jair Bolsonaro, on the tail of a victorious Trump-like campaign, remains...
Air Force Space Command Protesting Space Force
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Air Force Space Command Protesting Space Force

August 11th, 2018 | by Nick
Not fast enough. Too small. Go back to watching your Star Wars movies, kid. You’ll never make it. That’s what they used to say to United States Air Force Space Command Lieutenant Gragg Bombgarden all those years...
Area Man Finds Bitcoin In McDonald’s Happy Meal
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Area Man Finds Bitcoin In McDonald’s Happy Meal

July 27th, 2018 | by Nick
Moorhead, MN – Moorhead man Greithan Cutstash considers himself a lucky duck. Now he’s quacking about it. Lucky enough was Greithan to find what appears to be a genuine bitcoin nestled inside a McDonald’s happy...
World’s 203rd Fastest Man To Speak At Fargo Track Meet
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World’s 203rd Fastest Man To Speak At Fargo Track Meet

May 29th, 2018 | by Nick
Fargo, ND – The F-M Observer continues to bring you scrumptious news du jour. Today, we briefly chronicle a visit from of one of the top sprinters currently walking running the Earth. Clarent Bippen, the officially ranked...
MSUM Drama Student Comes Out As Thespian
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MSUM Drama Student Comes Out As Thespian

April 7th, 2018 | by Nick
Moorhead, MN – When she heard the news that fmobserver.com was back online, MSUM Drama student Xinthia Kaswa immediately came to us with a dilemma. What she told us couldn’t be easily understood at first listen. This...
Area Man Says He Can 3-D Print Your Bitcoin
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Area Man Says He Can 3-D Print Your Bitcoin

January 29th, 2018 | by Nick
Fargo, ND – For a non-nominal fee, an area man will turn your crypto-currency into physical currency for you to spend willfully on the black market or anywhere else they recognize this monopoly money.  Cryptocurrency,...
Prehistoric Rabbit Femur Located In West Fargo
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Prehistoric Rabbit Femur Located In West Fargo

December 1st, 2017 | by Nick
West Fargo, ND – What was once the territory of the Gargantuan Arctic Hare is now the coveted land of homebuyers and builders residing in points West. This truth was revealed to excavators during a foundation dig in what is...
Trump Names Bali Volcano, Mt. Agung, As New Top Advisor
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Trump Names Bali Volcano, Mt. Agung, As New Top Advisor

November 29th, 2017 | by Nina Verbena
Washington, D.C. – After losing a number of top advisors in recent weeks, President Trump filled one of the vacant slots with a highly unusual appointment today. Mt. Agung, the active volcano currently erupting in Bali, has...
Aging Presidential Administration Ships Horse Masks To Puerto Rico
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Aging Presidential Administration Ships Horse Masks To Puerto Rico

October 17th, 2017 | by Nick
San Juan, Puerto Rico – After playfully tossing paper towel rolls to locals seriously affected by hurricane Irma, Donald Trump has seemingly permitted a shipment of latex horse masks to Puerto Rico. To the aid of the...
Eddie Money Cover Band ‘Edward Currency’ To Open For Eddie Money
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Eddie Money Cover Band ‘Edward Currency’ To Open For Eddie Money

September 21st, 2017 | by Nick
Mahnomen, MN – An upcoming tour stop for classic rock icon Eddie Money could get even more interesting than it previously was with a last-minute addition to the show’s lineup. The scheduled opening act being forced to...