Local

Marijuana-Scented Candles Frustrating Police
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Marijuana-Scented Candles Frustrating Police

November 20th, 2014 | by Kitz
Fargo, ND – Police in Fargo say a recent uptick in disturbance calls can be attributed to the growing popularity of marijuana-scented candles. Dispatchers estimate they have received approximately 420 complaints about...
BREAKING: Your Mortal Soul Now Belongs To This Warlock
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BREAKING: Your Mortal Soul Now Belongs To This Warlock

November 18th, 2014 | by Nick
Fargo, ND—The Observer would like to regretfully inform you that your mortal soul, however puny and insignificant it may be, now belongs to this devious warlock. Yes, you’re really screwed now. It was this whispering...
Sign Up Now For Exciting Parade Of Hoarder Homes
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Sign Up Now For Exciting Parade Of Hoarder Homes

November 15th, 2014 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – With hoarding starting to become rather chic, Fargo is excited to announce its First Annual Parade Of Hoarder Homes. Parade president Irv Sheik says: “We’re looking for some major hoarders who might...
Hunting Mishap Almost Put Youngster Behind Bars
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Hunting Mishap Almost Put Youngster Behind Bars

November 12th, 2014 | by Johnnny
Knife Lake, MN – A young boy named Bruce had just finished drinking some juice when he saw in the air a goose which lately had a tendency to overproduce. So young Bruce decided to try and shoot the goose on the loose. He...
Some Memorable Moments From Cody Marthaller
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Some Memorable Moments From Cody Marthaller

November 8th, 2014 | by Johnnny
West Fargo, ND – The FM Observer is very sad to say that we recently lost a friend and one of the Founding Fathers of this website. On Sunday, October 26th, Cody Marthaller lost his long battle with cancer at age 32. Back...
ND Measure 10 To Legalize No-Sex Marriage
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ND Measure 10 To Legalize No-Sex Marriage

November 3rd, 2014 | by Nick
Bismarck, ND – Amidst a slew of confusing, regressive, unnecessary and downright ridiculous measures hitting voting booths tomorrow comes another dandy: Measure 10. This fun little amendment aims to legalize mandate(?)...
ND Measure 9 To Ban Happy Marriages
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ND Measure 9 To Ban Happy Marriages

November 3rd, 2014 | by Kitz
Fargo, ND – Due to an avalanche of misleading language, hidden agendas and incompetent proofreaders, North Dakota’s midterm elections will now include a ballot measure that would outlaw all happy marriages. Measure 9...
NASA Reducing Its Goal To Just Being Able To Successfully Launch A Rocket
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NASA Reducing Its Goal To Just Being Able To Successfully Launch A Rocket

October 29th, 2014 | by Johnnny
Wallops Island, VA – Despite an apparent ‘glitch’ during take-off, NASA is saying that everything is under control and that no one should have any reason for concern. Even though many on-lookers witnessed an...
Fanatical Mathematical Radical Goes On Problematical Sabbatical
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Fanatical Mathematical Radical Goes On Problematical Sabbatical

October 28th, 2014 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – An overly-zealous Fargo math teacher has been suspended from teaching. Students in Mr. Cal Cuelator’s third grade class had been complaining of having a steady heavy load of math homework assignments....
Clever ‘Calibration Errors’ Ensure Democrat Victories In Every Political Race
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Clever ‘Calibration Errors’ Ensure Democrat Victories In Every Political Race

October 25th, 2014 | by Johnnny
Washington, DC – Even if no Democrats show up to vote in the upcoming state and national elections, Republicans better be ready to lose each and every political race in the country. Democrat community organizers have...