Fargo, ND—NASA’s Mars Rover, since its placement on the Red Planet decades ago, has been hard at work constructing the much-anticipated MARS OUTPOST interplanetary research and development facility.
The MARS OUTPOST, located smack dab in between a storm of red lightning and swirling
alien dandruff space dust, has become the galaxy’s first spacetacular astrological science and research center. The Mars Rover built this monstrosity from the ground up using nuclear and solar-powered state-of-the-art engineering. Impressive!
Anyway, NASA (in conjunction with select media outlets across the nation) is preparing to send one lucky duck straight to Mars in a shuttle captained by R&B legend and current owner of Mars, Bruno Mars. The winner shall receive a first-hand look at the gorgeous new OUTPOST facility!!
The FM Observer will be coordinating an entry contest with its readers. All you have to do to win is complete a small 100-word essay in our comments section below explaining why you should Get Your Ass To Mars. Our staff will compile the results and select one lucky space cadet to be sent on a one-way 34,000,000-mile trip to the Red Planet.
Upon landing on Mars, cadets will eventually be greeted by the Mars Rover where there will be a photo opportunity (no flash photography) along with a guided tour of MARS OUTPOST. After that, you will help Rover do ferocious interstellar battle with Martians.