Dog Show Winner Actually A Polar Bear!

February 13th, 2013 | by Johnnny

POLARBEARpm1New York, NY – The 137th Annual Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show has been rocked by scandal.

Shortly after the Best-In-Show winner was named at Madison Square Garden, it was discovered that the winning dog was actually a polar bear cub, named Knut.

Obviously, this development is a huge embarrassment to this most prestigious and longest-running dog show.

The owners and handlers of the imposter “dog” are Amak and Akrittok Arjalinerk from the Yupik Eskimo tribe, which currently resides in north-central Alaska.

Mr. and Mrs. Arjalinerk had apparently entered the young carnivore into the dog show, not knowing that polar bears cannot compete in this canine-only event.

Inexperienced dog show officials must have initially assumed young Knut was legit, and categorized him as an American Eskimo Dog, which belongs in the Non-Sporting Group.

After winning his best-of-breed competition amongst all the other American Eskimo dogs, Knut went on to wow the crowd that watched the Non-Sporting Group competition.

Judge Florence Males of Pleasant Hill, CA was completely fooled by the bear cub as she named him winner of the Non-Sporting Group, which qualifiied Knut to participate in the final Best-In-Show competition.

Unbelieveably, the Best-In-Show judge, Michael Dougherty, named the polar bear to be the ultimate winner of 137th Annual Dog Show.

Mandatory blood testing after the dog show revealed that Knut was, in truth, a member of the animal Family Ursidae (Genus Ursus), which undeniably proves that the dog show winner will one day grow to weigh 1,500 pounds by eating a steady diet of seals, walruses, and probably a few stray dogs.


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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express.