Dr. Harshnel Quadflop Called In To Investigate Fargo’s Recent Outbreak Of Ekbom’s Syndrome

February 26th, 2019 | by Johnnny

The esteemed Dr. Harshnel Quadflop

Fargone, ND – As if Fargo didn’t already have enough problems to deal with (such as beavers, flooding, and pinochle), now city leaders can add an unexpected and unwanted outbreak of Ekbom’s Syndrome to its growing list of emerging emergencies.

Luckily, the country’s leading Ekbom expert was immediately available to head up here to God’s Country at the drop of a hat into the packing of his suitcase.

“What we are initially seeing here is a highly typical case of the Ekbom’s Syndrome playing itself out in this community you refer to as Fargo,” explains Dr. Harshnel Quadflop, as he carefully inscribes small sentences into his old, thick, red notebook.

Advice from Dr. Quadflop includes: 1. Don’t panic. 2. Go about your lives as normally as possible. 3. Report any symptoms of Ekbom’s Syndrome to your local authorities. 4. Stay well-stocked up on adult beverages. 5. Nap as needed, unless called upon to shovel or sandbag. 6. Monitor and disseminate all pertinent news on a need-to-know basis.


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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express or Lunapic.com :o)