Fargo Artist Paints First-Ever Moving Picture Using Kinetic Oil Paints

March 9th, 2019 | by Johnnny

The future is here: framed oil paintings that actually move on the canvas!?

Fargo, ND – Local artist Amsterdam Douglass has apparently achieved the unachievable!

This semi-famous Fargo artist, previously mostly known for his altruistic generosities, has now somehow painted an oil painting that shows actual movement on the canvas upon which it was painted and within the frame in which it is physically bordered.

When asked how he did it, Amsterdam Douglass slowly smiled, while only saying: “Kinetic Oil Paints!”

When asked what the hell are kinetic oil paints, Amsterdam Douglass slowly smiled, as he gracefully reached for his legume-flavored vape pen.

When asked about his legume-flavored vaporizer, Amsterdam Douglass slowly blew a large, thick, legume-flavored vape cloud, into which he virtually vanished via vicarious vaporization.


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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express or Lunapic.com :o)