Washington, DC—To the shock and utter disbelief of many, a government program has officially called it quits.
The initiative, said to help, prevent and raise awareness of its cause, has gone the way of extinction now that actual physical need has completely subsided.
Program offices around the country boarded up shop last week, seemingly out of nowhere.
A completely bewildered spokeswoman explains:
“There is no longer a need for our program. The less-fortunate have learned from their woes and quit asking for free handouts, so we’ve simply stopped giving them out. This move is unprecedented as we never predicted that the need for our service or any government-provided service could or would terminate, especially in the 21st century.”
Thousands of government workers across the nation are now left without jobs and unfortunately, without pension plans to back them up as their budget subsidies are being taken off the books and usurped by other national organizations.
Shell-shocked by this liberal agenda’s untimely demise, Washington-led officials are left shrugging their shoulders and scratching their heads, wondering what went right.