Government Shutdown Leaves Police Department Short-Staffed

Rambo mode

Rambo mode

West Fargo, ND—Amidst a federal government shutdown which the GOP minority is pitifully and embarrassingly using as leverage to bully the Affordable Care Act’s initiatives/supporters into their corner, local police departments are suffering a shortage of warm bodies.

The West Fargo Police Department is especially short-staffed, as all but one officer has decided to stay home due to the freezing of budget assets.

Officer Kenneth Noisewater, in bold defiance of the government shutdown, showed up ready and rarin’ to go for his morning shift. “I may not get paid today, tomorrow, next week or next month, but i’ll be damned if i’m letting any juveniles smoke cigarettes or degenerate drunks speed down Main avenue in their rust-bucket F-150s after getting lit up at the Town Hall. Not on my watch! I’ll go Rambo on their asses if I have to.”

Noisewater stated implicitly that he’s ready to extinguish crime of all forms by himself if he needs to and that he’s “not to be jerked with” during the government shutdown. It would appear that this government shutdown is already starting to affect many people in a variety of ways.

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Interstrapolating condectistic devariance via opentasmic protensive mindopathy.