Hilarious Mike Goldberg Quotes

January 1st, 2013 | by Bill Burns
MIke Goldberg Away Due To IllnessUFC 155 just wasn’t the same without the great Mike Goldberg commentating alongside Joe Rogan this weekend.  Apparently he had to take sometime off and rest at home due to an illness.The UFC is not sure when Mike Goldberg will return so Jon Anik will be filling in for him for the foreseeable future.
Dana White stated..
“Goldie’s out for a while and I don’t know when he’ll be back,”
Hopefully it’s nothing too serious and Mike Goldberg can return as quick as possible.
So, in spirit of Mike Goldberg, I’ll post some funny Mike Goldberg quotes that have been floating around the internet for years now.
Joe Rogan: “Think of leg kicks as like in a video game. The more they take, their power goes right down.”
Goldberg: “I know what you’re thinking, mighty ball mighty ball DEEP DEEP DEEP!”
Joe Rogan: Does best to ignore that and continue talking about the fightMike Goldberg: “He’s got him in some kind of strange choke I’ve never seen before!”
Joe Rogan: “That’s a rear naked choke.”Joe Rogan: “Karo is wide open!”
Mike Goldberg: “Diaz smells the opening.”

Mike Goldberg: “You can hear the corner speaking portuguese!”
Joe Rogan: “Uh, that’s Japanese, brother”
Mike Goldberg: “I should have known that.”
Joe Rogan: “You’re the one married to a Japanese chick.”
Mike Goldberg: “That is correct.”

Frank Shamrock: “Ohhhh huge knee!”
Mike Goldberg: “Big knee!”
Frank Shamrock: “That was a huge knee!”
Mike Goldberg: “That knee was big!”

 

UFC 68

Goldberg: “Welcome back, Randy Couture. This fight brought to you by…” Sylvia gets knocked down in the first 8 seconds*
Rogan: “Big right hand! Sylvia is down!”
Goldberg: “…Shooter. Starring Mark Wahlberg in theatres next Friday.”

 

UFC 76 Machida vs. Nakamura
Mike Goldberg: “And here is Nakamura…entering the octagon for the 1st time…touching the fence for the first time.”
Joe Rogan: (laughs)“You running out things to say?”
Mike Goldberg: “Yeah. Kinda(laughs). You? You know, you could help out and chime in once in a while…”

 

UFC 79 Sokoudjou Vs. Machida

Mike Goldberg: “Because SOAKoudjou is so highly touted, you almost want to sit back and watch and SOAK it in.”

Mike Goldberg: “Don’t forget coming up next it’s Blade the series…plenty of action, violence, vampire sexuality!”

Rogan: “Vampire sexuality, what’s that?”

Goldberg: “I don’t know, it was on a card they put in front of me”

 

UFC 84 Wanderlei Silva vs Keith Jardine

After Wanderlei “The Axe Murderer” Silva knocks Keith Jardine out
Goldberg: “The Iceman is back to his winning ways!”

“The Dean of Mean” Keith Jardine vs Kerry Schall

Goldberg: “If Jardine’s last name were Johnson, the nickname Dean of Mean would make no sense.”

 

UFC 71 Parisyan vs Burkman

Joe Rogan: “He’s getting instructions in two different languages.”

Mike Goldberg: “He understands them both!”

on Travis Lutter

Mike Goldberg: “He’s like the Michael Jordan of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu!”

Joe Rogan: “No, he’s not”

Mike Goldberg: “Larry Bird?”

Joe Rogan: “Uhm, no.”

Mike Goldberg: “Kobe Bryant?”

Joe Rogan: “…”

 

UFC 74 Couture vs Gonzaga

Joe Rogan: “Here’s a beautifull left hook by Gonzaga.” Mike Goldberg: “Yup, You can clearly see his nose explode there.” Joe Rogan: “I don’t think that was it actually, the thing that damaged his nose was in a takedown.” Mike Goldberg: “Oh, Gotcha!”

Clip of Randy taking Gonzaga down (not the headbutt one)
Goldberg: “Oh yeah, you’re right, thats it, pardon me.” Rogan: “I don’t think it was there either, i think it was in another takedown.” Goldberg: “Oh.”

Clip of Randy slamming Gonzaga, which caused the broken nose due to a headbutt*
Rogan: “I believe this is what caused it, watch as he takes Gonzaga down, they both collide heads, BAM, thats it, right there.” Goldberg: “Oh, good call, good call.”

on Kenny Florian after taking a groin shot

Goldberg: “… So you want to be an Ultimate Fighter?”

on “Lil’ Evil” Jens Pulver vs. John Lewis

After “Lil’ Evil” Jens Pulver knocked Lewis out*
Goldberg: “”Lil’ Eagle” flies again!”

 

TUF 7 Finale

(on Diego Sanchez’s conditioning)

Goldberg: “It must take a lot of energy just to keep that mean look on his face”

Random Quotes

Goldberg: “He’s unrelentless!”

Goldberg: “You know Roy Jones Jr. respects the hands of Forrest Griffin.”

Goldberg: “And here we go!”

Goldberg: “And it’s all over!”

Goldberg: “That eye is rocked!”

Goldberg: “Could we be blessed with a 3rd round?”

Goldberg: “Continuing on his meteoric rise!”

Goldberg: “You know Joe, When Matt and his brother Mark Hughes were growing up they would pound each other behind the barn!”


The following two tabs change content below.
Bill grew up in one of the largest cities in the United States, Maza, North Dakota. Being a cow milker by trade, it was only after stroking thousands upon thousands of cow nipples was he able to save up enough money and move to Fargo, ND. It was here that he joined FM Observer. In his free time he enjoys carving rocking horses out of wood, healing the sick, and running marathons across oceans.