Jeana Marie Smart Speaks Out

December 4th, 2013 | by Bill Burns
Jeana marie smart

I was dressed as a pumpkin.

Fargo, ND – Jeana Marie Smart, a Horace woman, was recently charged with felony drug possession for having a broken meth pipe in her vagina.

The story is so bizarre we had to get an interview and an explanation.  There are always two sides to a story so today I had the chance to speak with Jeana in her jail cell.

You may see my interview in its entirety below.




Bill:  Jeana, first, how is your vagina doing?

Jeana:  It’s doing great.  I wiped the blood up and gave it a good wash.  Really got in there this time.

Bill:  So no more pieces of meth pipe in the vag?

Jeana:  None.  At least I think I got all of it.

Bill:  So, everyone wants to know.  Why did you have a broken meth pipe hidden in your piss flaps?

Jeana:  Well the funny thing is, on Halloween, I dressed as a pumpkin on meth.  You can tell by my hair.  I was at a party and you know how those go.  Next thing you know I have a meth pipe in my meat wallet.  I got so drunk that night that I TOTALLY FORGOT about it.  That is, until the police found it.

Bill:  Did you say you’re sorry to your muff?  It must have been quite a traumatic experience for it, don’t you think?

Jeana:  Oh yea.  I’ve apologized over and over again to it.  It’s still ignoring me a little bit but it’s opening up to me slowly.  I just need to give it time.

Bill:  Alright Jeana.  Thank you so much for you time.  Just my advice but try not to stick anything else up there ok?  It needs it’s space.


So there you go.  I was able to answer all your questions.  This story is no longer a mystery.  Somehow a meth pipe got put into her vagina on Halloween and she simply forgot about it.  Her defense is most likely to use this story.

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Bill grew up in one of the largest cities in the United States, Maza, North Dakota. Being a cow milker by trade, it was only after stroking thousands upon thousands of cow nipples was he able to save up enough money and move to Fargo, ND. It was here that he joined FM Observer. In his free time he enjoys carving rocking horses out of wood, healing the sick, and running marathons across oceans.