“March Madness” Defense Fails Miserably In Court

Fargo, ND – The Observer is surprised to learn that yet another hapless defendant and his bumbling pro bono lawyer went with the “March Madness” defense, only to get laughed at by a veteran judge who has definitely seen this type of idiocy before. The defendant, on trial for vehicular manslaughter, had his lawyer go with this as a last-ditch effort in an attempt to sway the jury’s decision in his favor:

“But, your Honor, you know what it’s like. The frenzy of the tournament and all…I guess my client let all this March Madness get the best of him, heh heh.”

The presiding judge was not the slightest bit amused:

“You are a piece of work, you know that? I’ve sat in this chair for tournament after tournament now for many years. I’ve won some brackets, i’ve lost some brackets but if you think for one second i’m going to listen to that ridiculous closing argument you’re dead wrong. A smart defense attorney would have advised me what team to bet on prior to the tournament, postponed this hearing until after said team won the tournament and THEN come to me with the March Madness defense. You two AMATEURS obviously don’t have your heads screwed on straight.”

The defendant was then held in contempt of court which only added to the humiliation. Sentencing is scheduled for the 2nd week in April, which cannot bode well for the defendant if the judge’s team doesn’t win it all.

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Interstrapolating condectistic devariance via opentasmic protensive mindopathy.