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Michael Phelps Becomes Most Decorated Bong-Loader Ever

By on August 1, 2012

London, England – Yesterday was a significant moment in Olympic sports history as Michael Phelps became the most decorated Olympian of all time. Nineteen Olympic medals ensures him that title. What it also ensures him is the title of most decorated bong-loader in Olympic history. The weed community will be swift to point out that Phelps, as indicated by photos of him partying and crushing bong hits, is the new poster child for successful marijuana users. Consuming hippie tree has not traditionally been synonymous with athletic prowess at this level…until now. Local weed activist and smot poker Kevin Noisewater had this to say:

“(Choking back tears)…can’t believe it! So happy right now, bro! Phelpsy really brought it home for us, maaaaaann! This is such a huuuuge moment for hippie lettuce! It’s gonna totally be legal now!! Whooooaaaaa!”

Congratulations, Michael! Smoke up, brother! You’ve earned it!

About Nick Hirchert


I am a satirical news columnist for the F-M Observer. Follow my daily musings and harass me on twitter here: @NickHirchert. Send an angry email to fmobserver@gmail.com. Thanks for reading!

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