Moorhead Police Arrest McDonalds Drive-thru Speaker

March 21st, 2012 | by Bill Burns

Moorhead Police CarMoorhead, MN – Police officers arrested a Moorhead McDonalds drive-thru speaker earlier this morning.  Police reports state the drive-thru speaker was being “confrontational” and “speaking funny” to warrant an arrest.  We got to sit down with the speaker this morning and it had this to say, “Welcome to…<unrecognizable>…fat…<unrecognizable>…order.”  It then went on to say, “Would you like<unrecognizable>….f…<unrecognizable> off on your fat…<unrecognizable>…face?”  Police officers stated they thought the speaker was disrespecting them and calling them names.  They also believed it was slurring while speaking and could possibly be drunk.  There is such an offense as serving fat ass food while intoxicated The Observer has learned.

All of this could be a simple misunderstanding.  Drive-thru speakers have been known around the world for being complete dickheads.  While the speaker is incarcerated, overweight people will have to actually walk into the store instead of driving their fat ass to the window to order their fat ass food.   How will we continue to live like this?  Walking is overrated.


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Bill grew up in one of the largest cities in the United States, Maza, North Dakota. Being a cow milker by trade, it was only after stroking thousands upon thousands of cow nipples was he able to save up enough money and move to Fargo, ND. It was here that he joined FM Observer. In his free time he enjoys carving rocking horses out of wood, healing the sick, and running marathons across oceans.