MSUM Drama Student Comes Out As Thespian

April 7th, 2018 | by Nick

Xinthia Kaswa, thespian, seen here playing the titular lead role for the popular MSUM musical Hannah Silverpot, a confusing tale about a deranged teen who won’t put down a silver pot containing her granny’s ashes.

Moorhead, MN – When she heard the news that fmobserver.com was back online, MSUM Drama student Xinthia Kaswa immediately came to us with a dilemma. What she told us couldn’t be easily understood at first listen. This is mostly because of the way Xinthia talks.

Xinthia is one of a select few drama students who talks with a lisp.

It was with great difficulty we transcribed a brief interview with Xinthia for your amusement:

FMO: When you came out to your family, how did they react?
Xinthia: I didn’t “come out”, jethuth christht. Anyway, my father pretty muth lotht it. He thaid ‘no daughter of mine ith gonna be no lethpian’. He wath irate. Nothing I could thay to thway him! My mom wathn’t tho upthet. Thee thaid that thee exthpermented a bit in college and that i’d grow out of it. They didn’t get it.

FMO: What happened next?
Xinthia: I left. My dad was tho pithed, he kicked me out. I tried to exthplain but the thit head kicked me out.

FMO: You came to us to set the record straight. You want your family and peers to know you’re not lesbian, but instead thespian. Is that right?
Xinthia: Yeth. I’m not lethbian, i’m thethbian, for pete’th thake.

FMO: Xinthia, I feel the need to inform you that the two terms seem interchangeable when you phrase it that way. This may be why your ‘rents are confused.
Xinthia: Thut up.


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Nick

Co-Founder at FM Observer
Interstrapolating condectistic devariance via opentasmic protensive mindopathy.