New Tiger Woods Invitational Golf Tournament Only For Legally Drunk Players

May 31st, 2017 | by Johnnny

Sometime being legally drunk can actually help your golf game. –Tiger Woods

Jupiter, Florida – The King of modern golf says it is time for him to start his own invitational golf tournament.

Tiger Woods says his new PGA tourney shall be called the Tiger Woods DUI Invitational.

Each participant will be required to consume enough adult beverages prior to each round of golf in order to be considered legally drunk by trained highway patrol officers.

Once each player’s blood alcohol level is at or above the legal limit for blood alcohol content, they will be allowed to tee off in groups of fore.

Tiger Woods: “I think this will be a real good test to see how players can handle normal adversity which is part of most people’s daily lives.”

The grand prize for the Tiger Woods DUI Invitational will be a hot new car and a full case of Mondavi red wine.


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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express.