New Trend: Teens Getting High Off Toilet Flushing

Fargo, ND – In the recent weeks, 6 teens have shown up in the Sanford hospitals emergency rooms completely high and buzzed out of their minds.  One death is being reported as well.  This has caused concern for the local public health officials who feel this could be the next dangerous trend.

The hospitalized teens have stated that all the kids in school are now toilet flushing to get high.  What they do is put their head upside down into the toilet and keep flushing it a few times.  The combination of holding your breath to keep from drowning and the blood rushing to your head from being upside down creates an intense high and head buzz.

We don’t know where these kids recently picked this up but we assume it could be from the old school bullying tactic called the “swirly.”

“All it takes for these kids is a toilet, a few flushes, and bam!  They’re high!” said Molly, a poison control specialist at Sanford Health located in downtown Fargo.

Over the years teens have found creative and stupid ways of getting high.  From drinking cough syrup in the 90’s, mouthwash, and Purple drank, officials want to make sure teens don’t add ‘Toilet Flushing’ to the list.

Parents should start putting locks and the toilets and tell their kids to poop outside.  Keep that shit on lock down until this trend passes.  It’s the only way to assure no more teens are hospitalized.  We need to keep these stupid kids from removing themselves from the gene pool.  Who else would we laugh at if they were gone?

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Bill grew up in one of the largest cities in the United States, Maza, North Dakota. Being a cow milker by trade, it was only after stroking thousands upon thousands of cow nipples was he able to save up enough money and move to Fargo, ND. It was here that he joined FM Observer. In his free time he enjoys carving rocking horses out of wood, healing the sick, and running marathons across oceans.