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Minnesota Couple Marry In Cemetery
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Minnesota Couple Marry In Cemetery

May 22nd, 2012 | by Bill Burns
AUSTIN, Minn – How do you gain the brides deceased parents respect in the non creepiest way possible? Get married by their graves in a cemetery of course! In an unconventional wedding ceremony, Diane Waller and Randy...
Should I go see The Avengers or watch a real movie: HELLRAISER?
Editorial
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Should I go see The Avengers or watch a real movie: HELLRAISER?

May 18th, 2012 | by Nick
Washington, DC – Today at the White House, a government mandate was unanimously passed into marshall law requiring every American citizen to go see The Avengers because “It’s SO damn good.” It seems that...
Red River Now Considered “Less Dickish”
Local
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Red River Now Considered “Less Dickish”

May 17th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
West Fargo, ND – In a weird turn of events, locals have started praising the Red River and now consider it “Less Dickish.”  Last month we reported people to be calling the Red River a dick head and even tried...
UPDATE: Super AIDS reign of terror showing no signs of stopping
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UPDATE: Super AIDS reign of terror showing no signs of stopping

May 16th, 2012 | by Nick
Fargo, ND – With its tiny but deadly hands held firmly at the throat of our quiet community, the Super AIDS virus continues its unrelenting reign of terror on the home front. Human bodies are still being violently...
North Dakota declines offer to secede from America & join Canada
National
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North Dakota declines offer to secede from America & join Canada

May 14th, 2012 | by Nick
North Dakota, USA – In what many in the geography community have called a desperate attempt at coolness, Canada, our gracious neighbors to the north, made a pitiful request to the USA to secede North Dakota & add it to...
**ALERT** PRESENCE OF SUPER AIDS IN CLEANUP WEEK TRASH PILE SPAWNS EPIDEMIC
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**ALERT** PRESENCE OF SUPER AIDS IN CLEANUP WEEK TRASH PILE SPAWNS EPIDEMIC

May 10th, 2012 | by Nick
Fargo, ND – The filthy remnants of a cleanup week trash pile containing an unknown quantity of Super AIDS is believed to be the cause of the rampant Super AIDS epidemic here in Fargo. Due to environmental concerns, a...
Cleanup Week In Fargo-Moorhead Leaves Strange Items On The Curbside
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Cleanup Week In Fargo-Moorhead Leaves Strange Items On The Curbside

May 9th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Fargo, ND – It is Clean Up week around the Fargo-Moorhead area or the Scavengers Super Bowl other people call it. This week, thousands of people will throw various filthy piles of shit they have been hording in their house...
Cops Leave Hostage Situation To Bust NDSU College Party.
Local
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Cops Leave Hostage Situation To Bust NDSU College Party.

May 8th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Fargo, ND – At around 12 a.m. Saturday evening, police were called to a home on N Broadway Dr & 20th Ave N with reports of a hostage situation.  Police arrived on scene to find a man holding his girlfriend hostage...
Jesus Arrested For Disorderly Conduct.  Caught Mowing Lawn In Loin Cloth.
Local
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Jesus Arrested For Disorderly Conduct. Caught Mowing Lawn In Loin Cloth.

May 4th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Fergus Falls, MN – Jesus who currently is parading around as a 43 year-old named Matthew Swanson, was arrested for disorderly conduct Wednesday afternoon while mowing the lawn in a loin cloth.  It is believed that the...
BREAKING: Doctors find 9th unborn fetus inside Octomom
National
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BREAKING: Doctors find 9th unborn fetus inside Octomom

May 3rd, 2012 | by Nick
Los Angeles, CA – During a routine check-up at the local OBGYN, excavators discovered a lifeless unborn fetus stuck inside famously inseminated degenerate Nadya Suleman, also known as Octomom. A visit to the gyno is no...