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Car insurance adjuster freaking out over NASCAR wreck
NASCAR
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Car insurance adjuster freaking out over NASCAR wreck

June 4th, 2012 | by Nick
Dover, DE – Yesterday’s NASCAR FedEx 400 event in Dover contained one of the most heinous multiple car pileups we’ve seen so far this year. A total of 13 cars were involved in this chain-reaction wreck, and the...
Must Have Weapon For The Coming Zombie Apocalypse
Editorial
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Must Have Weapon For The Coming Zombie Apocalypse

June 1st, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Everywhere, USA – Keep your face, keep your skin, we will fill you in on the most practical weapon against zombies.  Zombies have been in the news lately (here and here) which is an obvious sign of a coming...
Cannibals Anonymous Group Therapy At Hilton Garden Inn
Local
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Cannibals Anonymous Group Therapy At Hilton Garden Inn

June 1st, 2012 | by Nick
Fargo, ND – Due to a widespread craving for human flesh causing concern that a zombie apocalypse is right around the corner, the Observer has decided to hold open workgroup sessions to help cannibals deal with their...
3 MINUTE BERMUDA TRIANGLE
The Lounge
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3 MINUTE BERMUDA TRIANGLE

June 1st, 2012 | by Bill Burns
This is indeed………………………..absolutely terrible....
Crookston Bishop To Host Prayer Service Sunday For American Crystal Workers Dispute
Local
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Crookston Bishop To Host Prayer Service Sunday For American Crystal Workers Dispute

May 31st, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Crookston, MN – Bishop Michael Hoeppner, head of the Catholic Diocese of Crookston is coming to the rescue.  Bishop Michael has stated that he has seen the destruction and carnage strikes and disputes can cause....
ZOMBIE SIGHTING IN WEST FARGO
Local
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ZOMBIE SIGHTING IN WEST FARGO

May 27th, 2012 | by Nick
West Fargo, ND – The Observer is fearful to report that early Sunday morning at around 3 a.m., a zombie was spotted foot-dragging alongside Interstate 94 in West Fargo. This reporter is absolutely certain that this was,...
Minnesota Couple Marry In Cemetery
Local
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Minnesota Couple Marry In Cemetery

May 22nd, 2012 | by Bill Burns
AUSTIN, Minn – How do you gain the brides deceased parents respect in the non creepiest way possible? Get married by their graves in a cemetery of course! In an unconventional wedding ceremony, Diane Waller and Randy...
Should I go see The Avengers or watch a real movie: HELLRAISER?
Editorial
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Should I go see The Avengers or watch a real movie: HELLRAISER?

May 18th, 2012 | by Nick
Washington, DC – Today at the White House, a government mandate was unanimously passed into marshall law requiring every American citizen to go see The Avengers because “It’s SO damn good.” It seems that...
Red River Now Considered “Less Dickish”
Local
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Red River Now Considered “Less Dickish”

May 17th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
West Fargo, ND – In a weird turn of events, locals have started praising the Red River and now consider it “Less Dickish.”  Last month we reported people to be calling the Red River a dick head and even tried...
UPDATE: Super AIDS reign of terror showing no signs of stopping
Local
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UPDATE: Super AIDS reign of terror showing no signs of stopping

May 16th, 2012 | by Nick
Fargo, ND – With its tiny but deadly hands held firmly at the throat of our quiet community, the Super AIDS virus continues its unrelenting reign of terror on the home front. Human bodies are still being violently...