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Swiss woman attempts to live on sunlight; dies
National
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Swiss woman attempts to live on sunlight; dies

April 26th, 2012 | by Nick
Switzerland (AP) – A Swiss newspaper is reporting that a woman who recently attempted a sort of “spiritual journey” that requires fasting both food AND water while only to live off the incredibly harmful rays of...
‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’ Renewed For 3 More Seasons.  Suicides up 80%.
National
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‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’ Renewed For 3 More Seasons. Suicides up 80%.

April 25th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
NEW YORK, NY – The ever so popular unpopular show “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” just got renewed for 3 more seasons.  Seriously, people still watch this vile garbage?  E! Entertainment network, another...
New Trend: Teens Getting High Off Toilet Flushing
Local
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New Trend: Teens Getting High Off Toilet Flushing

April 25th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Fargo, ND – In the recent weeks, 6 teens have shown up in the Sanford hospitals emergency rooms completely high and buzzed out of their minds.  One death is being reported as well.  This has caused concern for the local...
Flirting with Magic – Ripped but not Torn
The Lounge
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Flirting with Magic – Ripped but not Torn

April 20th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
“Here’s my magic trick.  I’m not raping you.  Now I’m raping you.”...
Jimmy Kimmel Live : Have You Ever Smoked Pot?
The Lounge
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Jimmy Kimmel Live : Have You Ever Smoked Pot?

April 20th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Do you smoke pot?  Because of 420 day, Jimmy Kimmel takes to the streets and asked random people if they have ever smoked pot before.  See if you can get them all correct.  Enjoy!...
Zygi Wilf asks Viking fans to start thinking of new team name
NFL
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Zygi Wilf asks Viking fans to start thinking of new team name

April 18th, 2012 | by Nick
Minneapolis, MN – As the twilight years of yet another Minnesota sports team near their bittersweet end, the owner of the Minnesota Vikings is keeping the lines of communication with the fan base open. Knowing that a...
Red River of Fargo Accused of Being a Complete Dickhead Again.
Local
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Red River of Fargo Accused of Being a Complete Dickhead Again.

April 18th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Fargo, ND – Just when we thought the Red River of Fargo had grown up and become a more mature adult, we realize we were dead wrong.  Thanks to the recent rain, the Red River is back to being a complete dickhead again. ...
NFL Fantasy Mock Draft 2012
NFL
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NFL Fantasy Mock Draft 2012

April 17th, 2012 | by Nick
New York, NY – It’s draft season yet again in the National Football League. NFL team executives are doing their due diligence; scouting players from colleges around the nation in hopes of finding the best player to...
Local Man Depressed It’s Not Winter
Local
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Local Man Depressed It’s Not Winter

April 16th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Fargo, ND – Phil McCrackin is a family man.  A man who enjoys the great outdoors, spending time with his kids, and cooking his family large and exquisite dinners.  He is also a happy man whom his friends say is one of...
Jason Voorhees taking this Friday the 13th off
National
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Jason Voorhees taking this Friday the 13th off

April 13th, 2012 | by Nick
Camp Crystal Lake, America – The Observer has learned that in a shocking turn of events today, well-known blood fiend and murder artist Jason Voorhees has decided not to stalk & slash this Friday the 13th. This news...