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Jason Voorhees taking this Friday the 13th off
National
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Jason Voorhees taking this Friday the 13th off

April 13th, 2012 | by Nick
Camp Crystal Lake, America – The Observer has learned that in a shocking turn of events today, well-known blood fiend and murder artist Jason Voorhees has decided not to stalk & slash this Friday the 13th. This news...
Bob!  Where in the hell are you?  Your goat is looking for you.
The Lounge
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Bob! Where in the hell are you? Your goat is looking for you.

April 12th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
This is an oldie but goody.  Fuckin’ Bob is nowhere to be found....
North Dakota county hopes somebody will run for prosecutor
Local
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North Dakota county hopes somebody will run for prosecutor

April 12th, 2012 | by Nick
Cavalier, ND – Pembina county is in need of a lead prosecuting attorney. Amidst political controversy that forced the last county prosecutor out of office, the position has been left vacant for the past couple months. This...
Scheels All Sports To Turn Into Amusement Park.  Will Sell Sporting Goods On The Side.
Local
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Scheels All Sports To Turn Into Amusement Park. Will Sell Sporting Goods On The Side.

April 12th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Fargo, ND – Scheels All Sports, the Behemoth of the Midwest, will transform it’s enormous and very popular sports store in Fargo into an amusement park the FM Observer has learned.  Scheels is known for its wide...
Michael Jordan is the worst at something
NBA
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Michael Jordan is the worst at something

April 11th, 2012 | by Nick
Charlotte, NC – Legendary NBA baller Michael Jordan is worldly renowned for being the best professional basketball player of all time. ON the court. These days, his Airness has been occupying the complete opposite end of...
Instagram Retro Finger Wiener Want Cookie
Pictures
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Instagram Retro Finger Wiener Want Cookie

April 10th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
  I was looking to capture the anger of the finger wiener and how hungry it...
Ridiculously Unphotogenic Hugh Jackman
Pictures
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Ridiculously Unphotogenic Hugh Jackman

April 9th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
...
Miracle, A Female Peregrine Falcon Returns To Fargo.  Husband Missing.
Local
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Miracle, A Female Peregrine Falcon Returns To Fargo. Husband Missing.

April 9th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Fargo, ND – Since April, many birds have started their seasonal migration back to the Fargo-Moorhead area.  One of the those birds is a peregrine falcon named Miracle.  Since 2008, Miracle and her mate Dakota Ace have...
Pop singer Madonna extremely satisfied with penis arm implants
National
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Pop singer Madonna extremely satisfied with penis arm implants

April 6th, 2012 | by Nick
Los Angeles, CA – World-renowned pop music singer and diva Madonna was recently asked in an interview about the satisfaction and comfort of her penis arm implants: “I absolutely love them. They fit me so well. They...
Android Gets Instagram.  Apple Fans’ Buttholes Hurt.
Editorial
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Android Gets Instagram. Apple Fans’ Buttholes Hurt.

April 5th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Fargo, ND – The ever so popular Instagram iPhone application popular among dirty hipsters and dumb fucks in general, was released for Android a couple days ago.  In case you didn’t know how much I love Instagram, you...