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Jesus Arrested For Disorderly Conduct.  Caught Mowing Lawn In Loin Cloth.
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Jesus Arrested For Disorderly Conduct. Caught Mowing Lawn In Loin Cloth.

May 4th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Fergus Falls, MN – Jesus who currently is parading around as a 43 year-old named Matthew Swanson, was arrested for disorderly conduct Wednesday afternoon while mowing the lawn in a loin cloth.  It is believed that the...
BREAKING: Doctors find 9th unborn fetus inside Octomom
National
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BREAKING: Doctors find 9th unborn fetus inside Octomom

May 3rd, 2012 | by Nick
Los Angeles, CA – During a routine check-up at the local OBGYN, excavators discovered a lifeless unborn fetus stuck inside famously inseminated degenerate Nadya Suleman, also known as Octomom. A visit to the gyno is no...
Facebook Releases Organ Harvesting Application.
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Facebook Releases Organ Harvesting Application.

May 3rd, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Palo Alto, California – Facebook this week has released a new organ harvesting application.  This new facebook application was announced Tuesday by Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg as a way to harvest users organs and sell...
Horse Buggy Collides With Car On Interstate.  Horse Takes a Dump.
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Horse Buggy Collides With Car On Interstate. Horse Takes a Dump.

May 1st, 2012 | by Bill Burns
New Salem, ND- At around 8:30 a.m. this morning, a SUV carrying a family of 4 struck a horse buggy on Co Rd 139.  The family from New York were on vacation and merrily on their way to New Salem, North Dakota to visit...
Red Bull® gives man wings; man sues
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Red Bull® gives man wings; man sues

April 30th, 2012 | by Nick
West Fargo, ND – A local man is suing the makers of Red Bull® energy drink, claiming the product produced “uncomfortable and disproportionate feathery growths” sprouting from underneath both shoulder blades....
Dirk Benedict Steel Stomachs
The Lounge
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Dirk Benedict Steel Stomachs

April 27th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Yes.  This is for real.  I don’t know about workouts but these make for some awesome dance moves....
Swiss woman attempts to live on sunlight; dies
National
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Swiss woman attempts to live on sunlight; dies

April 26th, 2012 | by Nick
Switzerland (AP) – A Swiss newspaper is reporting that a woman who recently attempted a sort of “spiritual journey” that requires fasting both food AND water while only to live off the incredibly harmful rays of...
‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’ Renewed For 3 More Seasons.  Suicides up 80%.
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‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’ Renewed For 3 More Seasons. Suicides up 80%.

April 25th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
NEW YORK, NY – The ever so popular unpopular show “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” just got renewed for 3 more seasons.  Seriously, people still watch this vile garbage?  E! Entertainment network, another...
New Trend: Teens Getting High Off Toilet Flushing
Local
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New Trend: Teens Getting High Off Toilet Flushing

April 25th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Fargo, ND – In the recent weeks, 6 teens have shown up in the Sanford hospitals emergency rooms completely high and buzzed out of their minds.  One death is being reported as well.  This has caused concern for the local...
Flirting with Magic – Ripped but not Torn
The Lounge
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Flirting with Magic – Ripped but not Torn

April 20th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
“Here’s my magic trick.  I’m not raping you.  Now I’m raping you.”...