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Where Are They Now: Wheel of Fortune Big Winner Ken Noisewater
Editorial
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Where Are They Now: Wheel of Fortune Big Winner Ken Noisewater

October 24th, 2012 | by Nick
Fargo, ND – $25,000. Could that dollar amount change your life? I’m willing to bet it could (even after taxes). Kenneth Noisewater landed a shot at fortune and fame; the type that could only be earned along side big...
The Fargo DMV Is In A Terrible Location
Editorial
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The Fargo DMV Is In A Terrible Location

October 23rd, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Fargo, ND – The DMV is the last place one wants to be…..ever.  I’d rather be swimming in pig shit than be waiting in line at the dmv.  If having to enter the gates of hell dmv didn’t make your life...
Child Moves Out After 28 Years–In the Womb!
Local
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Child Moves Out After 28 Years–In the Womb!

October 23rd, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Fargo, ND – In a story that has the scientific community completely baffled, Gary “Gum Gum” Jackson, a full-grown 28 year old man, decided to finally move out of his mothers womb. It’s been 28 long,...
West Fargo High School Principal to Step Down and Pursue River Dancing Career
Local
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West Fargo High School Principal to Step Down and Pursue River Dancing Career

October 22nd, 2012 | by Cody Marthaller
West Fargo, ND – Gary Clark has been a member of the West Fargo school administration for a number of years now.  Soon this will come to an end as Gary Clark will step down to pursue his river dancing career. For years,...
Fargo Pedophiles Feeling Left Out This Halloween Season
Local
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Fargo Pedophiles Feeling Left Out This Halloween Season

October 11th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
It’s a somber, sad, and gloomy month for area pedophiles as Halloween is around the corner. Lately, you can see all their vans parked lonesomely in the shadows. The beautiful month of October is upon us. Vivid colors of...
Official Mitt Romney Press Release
National
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Official Mitt Romney Press Release

October 5th, 2012 | by Nick
Boston, MA – With the presidential campaign in full swing, Mitt Romney has made very significant strides as the Republican front-runner. He and his running mate Paul Ryan have made their share of gaffes, and yet they trudge...
McDonald’s Sandwich Lover Awarded $2 Million Settlement
National
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McDonald’s Sandwich Lover Awarded $2 Million Settlement

October 2nd, 2012 | by Nick
Pittsburgh, PA – A McDonald’s customer suing the world-famous restaurant chain for damages caused after burning himself on a hot Big Mac has won his case. Ryan Deerfield of Pittsburgh, PA took it upon himself to sue...
WNBA game suspended after ball gets stuck between rim and backboard
Sports
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WNBA game suspended after ball gets stuck between rim and backboard

September 29th, 2012 | by Nick
Minneapolis, MN – A recent professional Women’s National Basketball Association game between the Minnesota Lynx and the Atlanta Dream suffered a stoppage in play after the ball became lodged between the rim and the...
Topless PETA mermaids protest fish murder
Local
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Topless PETA mermaids protest fish murder

September 27th, 2012 | by Nick
Fargo, ND – This afternoon in downtown Fargo, two fearless PETA ladies dressed up as mermaids in the name of fish preservation. The Observer is glad to know that the dead geographical center of the North American continent...
Man Arrested In Moorhead Assault Says His Affliction Shirt Is To Blame
Local
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Man Arrested In Moorhead Assault Says His Affliction Shirt Is To Blame

September 24th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
  Moorhead, MN – Earlier this month, a man was arrested for assault and sexual assault for attacking a woman in downtown Moorhead. Richard Haaland, age 46, was arrested at his home after a video near the crime scene...