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Because Of Global Change, Geese Don’t Know Which Direction To Migrate
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Because Of Global Change, Geese Don’t Know Which Direction To Migrate

March 14th, 2019 | by Johnnny
Goose Village, Nebraska – Wildlife biologists are noticing confusion amongst the migrating goose population. Professional bird watchers are observing that migrating geese seem “very confused” as to which...
Fargo Clock Shoppe Owner Jailed For Refusing To Change His Clocks To Daylight Savings Time
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Fargo Clock Shoppe Owner Jailed For Refusing To Change His Clocks To Daylight Savings Time

March 11th, 2019 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – The owner of Ye Olde Clock Shoppe in Fargo is refusing to change all of the clocks in his shoppe to Daylight Savings Time. Mr. Eagan Tinch who has owned Ye Olde Clock Shoppe since it opened in 1967 says he does...
Fargo Artist Paints First-Ever Moving Picture Using Kinetic Oil Paints
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Fargo Artist Paints First-Ever Moving Picture Using Kinetic Oil Paints

March 9th, 2019 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – Local artist Amsterdam Douglass has apparently achieved the unachievable! This semi-famous Fargo artist, previously mostly known for his altruistic generosities, has now somehow painted an oil painting that...
International Snow Baron To Finally Visit Fargo
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International Snow Baron To Finally Visit Fargo

March 8th, 2019 | by Nick
Fargo, ND – It was only after a mere fifty inches of winter precip that one of the most revered snow gurus alive finally took notice. Baron Von Jeric Tedlam of the Great Siberian North, Biter Of Frost and Freezer Of Vein,...
Fargo Man Gains Sixty Pounds In One Sitting At All-You-Can-Eat Buffet
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Fargo Man Gains Sixty Pounds In One Sitting At All-You-Can-Eat Buffet

March 6th, 2019 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – Richard Roundhouse of rural Fargo entered the House Of Food buffet restaurant weighing 310 pounds. When Mr. Roundhouse finally decided to leave the House Of Food three hours later, the scale indicated that...
Polar Bear That Enters North Fargo Grocery Store Ends Up In The Canned Meats Aisle
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Polar Bear That Enters North Fargo Grocery Store Ends Up In The Canned Meats Aisle

March 4th, 2019 | by Johnnny
North Fargo, ND – In what authorities are describing as a very rare occurrence, a hungry large polar bear wandered into a grocery store in North Fargo. It is believed that some of these arctic carnivores are being driven...
FMO Considering Selling Prayer Pillows To Help Fund Reader Appreciation Parties
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FMO Considering Selling Prayer Pillows To Help Fund Reader Appreciation Parties

February 28th, 2019 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – Your FM Observer understands the importance of saying a bedtime prayer each and every night before retiring to dreamland. In fact, we believe this has been a big reason why we’ve been so successful at...
Dr. Harshnel Quadflop Called In To Investigate Fargo’s Recent Outbreak Of Ekbom’s Syndrome
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Dr. Harshnel Quadflop Called In To Investigate Fargo’s Recent Outbreak Of Ekbom’s Syndrome

February 26th, 2019 | by Johnnny
Fargone, ND – As if Fargo didn’t already have enough problems to deal with (such as beavers, flooding, and pinochle), now city leaders can add an unexpected and unwanted outbreak of Ekbom’s Syndrome to its...
Creative Ways To Decline An Offer (Besides Just Saying No)
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Creative Ways To Decline An Offer (Besides Just Saying No)

February 26th, 2019 | by Johnnny
West Fargo, ND – Your FM Observer recently brought in two excellent professional life coaches to instruct our entire staff on how to say “NO” in a number of different ways. Let’s face it, there are many...
‘Smiling Depression’ Is Now Considered A Disease Treatable With Drugs
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‘Smiling Depression’ Is Now Considered A Disease Treatable With Drugs

February 22nd, 2019 | by Johnnny
​Death Valley, CA – Did you know that smiling is almost a sure sign of depression? “Smiling Depression” is something you’ll want to start watching for amongst your family, friends, and co-workers. People...