Come Ready to Party, Leave Drunk and Stupid.

North Dakota Tourism Ad is Scandalous! Leave a Legend? As a young woman with many male friends, I would just like to say that the new North Dakota Tourism ad is outrageous! North Dakota people don’t go out “on the...

Alleged TouchTunes Terrorist Spreading Christmas Cheer Throughout the Land

Coming to a jukebox near you: Crappy Happy music. Fargo, ND – Modern technologies have afforded us many luxuries. In this day & age any knucklehead with a smartphone can hack into your favorite bar’s sound...

Instagram Sucks and So Do You

What is Instagram you ask?  It is an Apple and Android application where over 15 million sheep users like to masturbate with each other over vintage pictures they take.  Instagram gives these hipsters users access to many...

NECROPLASTY: An In-depth Interview and Discography With a Tortured Soul

I sit down with one of Fargo’s finest. A native son born into boredom and evil. The following in-depth interview occurred September 19, 2011. This is a transcript of what was discussed. All details have been preserved to...

At my W.I.T.S. end

A reactive reflection of what winter does to the mind, and its timely ending. I am finally at the end of my WITS. WITS, meaning, of course, Winter Introspective Terror Syndrome. It’s a common affliction–something we...

Local Elderly Lady Informed That She Was Dead.

Studying zombie survival wasn’t so stupid after all. Fargo, ND – Super Tuesday is supposed to be SUPER FUN.  Not for a local 84 year old elderly lady named Maureen.  She showed up to vote and was told she was...

ALERT! ICP Fan With White Paint Giving Underage Large Women Alcohol.

Fargo, ND – There is a JUGGALO alert out for a white ICP (Insane Clown Posse) fan hacking people with machetes.  He was last seen giving alcohol to an underage large woman.  He was wearing white paint, or ‘witch...

Mom Gets Daughter Unusual Birthday Gift.

5 year old gets plastic surgery. Fargo, ND —In a story you think didn’t come from this world, a Fargo mom dropped over 25k on her 5 year old daughter to get plastic surgery and breast enhancements.  The mom admits to...

Rick Santorum Takes Home Most Votes In North Dakota.

Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore. Fargo, ND –  Rick Santorum has taken home the most votes in North Dakota’s statewide Republican caucuses.  Or in Rick Santorum’s own words,...

Man Bitten By Dog Minding His Own Business

Not your average Lassie. Fargo, ND –  A man on Tuesday morning was bitten by a dog minding his own business outside of Wheels Inc in Fargo.  Seeing the dog hanging it’s head out of the window minding it’s own...