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FM Observer’s First Annual Panicfest Cancelled Due To Lack Of Toilet Paper
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FM Observer’s First Annual Panicfest Cancelled Due To Lack Of Toilet Paper

March 18th, 2020 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – What was to be a celebratory reminder to everyone to not panic during a Global Pandemic has been cancelled due to lack of toilet paper. Panicfest organizers made the tough decision to cancel the first annual...
Pandemic Social Distancing, North Dakota Style
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Pandemic Social Distancing, North Dakota Style

March 16th, 2020 | by Johnnny
Medora, ND – Serious times require serious measures, which is why North Dakotans are being asked to stay as far away from each other as possible. How far is considered safe? Well, the definition of a plain is one tree per...
Fargo Man Impaled By Large Icicle Doesn’t Notice It Until He Gets Home To His Wife
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Fargo Man Impaled By Large Icicle Doesn’t Notice It Until He Gets Home To His Wife

March 13th, 2020 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – Yes, it’s that dangerous time of the year once again when large icicles are precariously hanging high above the Downtown Fargo sidewalks. Such was the case when Mr. Ace Leidich slowly sauntered along while...
First Machine To Catch Corona Virus From A Human Is Now “Acting Funny”
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First Machine To Catch Corona Virus From A Human Is Now “Acting Funny”

March 10th, 2020 | by Johnnny
Corona, California – The first documented case of the Corona Virus being passed from a human to a machine has now been confirmed. The machine, whose identity is being kept confidential for now, keeps on saying the same...
Bernie Sanders Waves Good-Bye To Humanity As He Leaves To Become The First President Of Mars
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Bernie Sanders Waves Good-Bye To Humanity As He Leaves To Become The First President Of Mars

March 9th, 2020 | by Johnnny
Mars, Milky Way – Shortly after suspending his 2020 presidential campaign, Bernie Sanders waved to everyone on Earth as he boarded his plane for Mars. “This is a bittersweet moment. Bitter because Joe Biden looks to...
Fargo Man Who Dreams He Was On A Cruise Ship Wakes Up With Corona Virus
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Fargo Man Who Dreams He Was On A Cruise Ship Wakes Up With Corona Virus

March 6th, 2020 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – While sleeping soundly in his Fargo home, a man who had a dream of being on a cruise ship woke up testing positive for the Corona Virus. After deciding to self-quarantine in his bedroom, the man fell back asleep...
Moorhead Man Willing To Part With N95 Filtration Masks For $100 Each
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Moorhead Man Willing To Part With N95 Filtration Masks For $100 Each

March 5th, 2020 | by Johnnny
Moorhead, MN – A Moorhead man who has stockpiled literally thousands of the much-demanded N95 facial masks is now selling them for $100 each. Mark Rhoades says that as a favor to the community, he is graciously willing to...
Survey Asks: Do We Really Need Domesticated Cats?
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Survey Asks: Do We Really Need Domesticated Cats?

March 2nd, 2020 | by Johnnny
Catalina, Arizona – We recently surveyed less than a million people asking about cats as pets. The overall consensus from our expensive and extensive survey was that domesticated cats have now become obsolete. Case in...
Leap Day Was Begun As An Extra Day To Do Something New Or Different
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Leap Day Was Begun As An Extra Day To Do Something New Or Different

February 29th, 2020 | by Johnnny
Leapwood, TN – Leap Day was started by a man named John Leap from Tennessee. Mister Leap believed that every four years people needed one extra day to do something different. Whether it be rearranging your furniture,...
Learn How To Learn How To Properly Vape By Attending Beginner Vaping Classes
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Learn How To Learn How To Properly Vape By Attending Beginner Vaping Classes

February 27th, 2020 | by Johnnny
West Fargo, ND – Now that vaping is considered one of the healthiest things you can do, classes are being offered on how to vape in order to achieve all the benefits that vaping offers. Dr. Grav Polisoto will be teaching...