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Area Police Setting Up Four Hundred Twenty 420 Checkpoints
Local
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Area Police Setting Up Four Hundred Twenty 420 Checkpoints

April 20th, 2017 | by Nick
Fargo, ND – Via a confidentially anonymous series of trusted fake news sources, the Observer has learned that area police will be staging 420 “420 checkpoints” around the region today. Four hundred and...
Moorhead Hoarder Finds Dead Husband Buried Under Tons Of Junk
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Moorhead Hoarder Finds Dead Husband Buried Under Tons Of Junk

April 20th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Moorhead, MN – The Department of Health and Human Services is reporting that a woman who wishes to remain anonymous recently found her deceased husband under some of her belongings. Agnes Elhart of 1313 Hoarder Drive in...
Gmail Now Permitting Use Of Emoji In New Email Addresses
National
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Gmail Now Permitting Use Of Emoji In New Email Addresses

April 18th, 2017 | by Nick
Palo Alto, CA – Great news this day for emoji fans and horrifying news for emoji haters. That little smileyface icon you’ve fallen in love with using in messages has taken one step closer to formally joining the...
Man Hit By Train In Stable Condition While Recovering At The Morgue
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Man Hit By Train In Stable Condition While Recovering At The Morgue

April 18th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Moorhead, MN – Police report that a man was hit by a train in Moorhead early this morning. Officer Tarin Starck believes that 1. either the man did not know where he was walking, or 2. he knew but did not know a train was...
FMO Hiring Day Will Be A Week From Next Month
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FMO Hiring Day Will Be A Week From Next Month

April 16th, 2017 | by Johnnny
West Fargo, ND – Yes, once again it’s almost Hiring Day at the FM Observer! Because we’ve lost some impotent associates during this last hectically wonderful year, we’ll be looking to fill some key...
Fargo Bar Fight Begins After Man Asks Another To Borrow His Toogit
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Fargo Bar Fight Begins After Man Asks Another To Borrow His Toogit

April 14th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – In what could have been because of a possible misunderstanding, a bar fight broke out last night in a downtown Fargo bar after one man seemingly innocently asked a stranger if he could borrow the other...
FMO Interviews United Airlines CEO Oscar Muñoz
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FMO Interviews United Airlines CEO Oscar Muñoz

April 13th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Chicago, IL – Our on-the-spot field agent reporter in Chicago is Zurdly Zervative who just happened to file this timely interview with the CEO of United Airlines after they forcibly removed a fully paid passenger from his...
United Airlines Expecting Insignificant Revenue Shortfall Amidst Controversy
National
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United Airlines Expecting Insignificant Revenue Shortfall Amidst Controversy

April 12th, 2017 | by Nick
Louisville, KY – $36 billion in annual revenue could turn into a mere $33 billion after video of United airline staff violently re-appropriating or re-accommodating or re-moving or whatever they call what they did to...
Playing Slot Machines Good For Health
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Playing Slot Machines Good For Health

April 9th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Jackpot, Nevada – A new comprehensive study by casinos shows that there are numerous health benefits associated with playing slot machines. Essentially, the more time spent playing slot machines, the healthier (and...
Fargo Man Demonstrates How To Levitate Using Advanced Meditation Techniques
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Fargo Man Demonstrates How To Levitate Using Advanced Meditation Techniques

April 8th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – If you believe in levitation but have never actually witnessed it, or if you would have to see it in order to believe it, then you’re in luck. Tony Vedic, who grew up in Levita, Texas but who now calls...