Los Angeles, CA – Sunday evening, authorities received a call to investigate what was reported to be a pair of lungs stuck to a south Los Angeles county sidewalk. With a veritable frenzy of visceral criminal activity sweeping the nation these days, the presence of (human?) lungs on a sidewalk does not surprise this reporter one bit. The Observer has no doubt that a backyard organ transplant went awry, causing the “doctor” to toss the ineffective organs out a moving car window. But what became of the body? Was the failed transplant victim’s corpse chopped up & stuffed down the drain? Is human life no longer sacred to us?? Will I become King of America someday?? Will the Cubs ever win the world series??? These are the burning questions.
The organs were turned over to the county coroner for examination. The police could not be sure if they were actually lungs or possibly a discarded placenta. The Observer is anxiously awaiting the coroner’s report.