Romney Loses By Landslide. Walmart To Blame.

November 7th, 2012 | by Bill Burns

Washington, DC – The presidential election is finally over.  Obama wins by a landslide and will continue on being President of the United States for another 4 years.  However, new reports are coming in as to why Romney lost by such a landslide and Walmart is being blamed.

It is being reported that thousands upon thousands of stupid uneducated voters flocked to area Walmarts thinking that each and every one was an election polling station.  Some residents even drove hours upon hours to the closest Walmart only to find out that it was indeed NOT a polling station.  Walmart might offer everything, but not voting booths.

Once inside, voters went irate after learning that there were indeed no polling stations.  Trampling occurred like that you see on Black Fridays and multiple people have been hurt.  Two people reportedly shot.  However, this quickly passed as they realized they were in Walmart and could get 50 photo sticker prints printed of their ugly and repulsive baby for ONLY $3!!  What a deal!

Without all of these votes, no one will know if Mitt Romney could have won or how much more Obama would’ve beat Romney.

During the next election, Walmart plans on putting up 50ft tall bright neon signs stating that Walmart IS NOT A POLLING STATION in all Walmart locations.


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Bill grew up in one of the largest cities in the United States, Maza, North Dakota. Being a cow milker by trade, it was only after stroking thousands upon thousands of cow nipples was he able to save up enough money and move to Fargo, ND. It was here that he joined FM Observer. In his free time he enjoys carving rocking horses out of wood, healing the sick, and running marathons across oceans.