Grand Forks, ND – Opponents of naked fun and orgasms have formed an online petition to halt the launching of a Fantasy’s sex shop slated to open very near a Grand Forks elementary school. The petition has been signed by roughly 200 coitus bashers so far. The proposed Fantasy’s location could allow elementary-age students to window shop for bondage wear, blow-up dolls, pocket-rockets, anal lube, 4-foot double-sided black dildos and other sexing gear during walks to and from school. The owners of Fantasy’s are prepared to fight the pleasure police’s move proposal. If the petition and move proposal falls through, these poor schoolchildren may need to learn to cope with a giant rubber phallus taunting them from the store’s facade every day. Either that, or the store decor will be tastefully laid out in the shop window like it is in every other Fantasy’s location around the country thereby rendering this petition utterly useless.