Lake fermentation is one of the early signs of a bigger problem: Global Fermentation.
Vergas, MN – Trained experts from Minnesota’s department of natural resources are saying that some lakes are now starting to show early signs of fermentation.
Dr. Martie Fenton, who has studied fermentation since he joined a fraternity in college, says that these early signs of lake fermentation are a harbinger of things to come regarding Global Fermentation.
Dr. Fenton in his own fermented words: “The lakes where we are seeing fermentation are usually related to where there are a lot of people living or camping such as Beers Lake near Maplewood State Park.”
A few other lakes on the fermentation list are: Whiskey Lake, Scotch Lake, Bootleg Lake, and also Highlife Lake.
If you think your lake is starting to ferment, please call the Minnesota DNR at your earliest convenience so that trained experts can come out and sip samples of your lake water.
Ironically, all of the letters in Martie Fenton can somehow be re-arranged to spell: Fermentation!
Fargo, ND—After serving booze to a minor, Santa Lucia restaurant in south Fargo was hit with a fine as punishment for failing their random alcohol compliance check. The restaurant’s owner disputed the fine, saying that both servers who examined the ID of the patron were never taught how to use calculators during county-mandated server training class. Because if you can’t use a calculator, you can’t properly determine someone’s age.
The city of Fargo agrees. Today, city commission members voted to repeal the fine due to negligence on the part of server training staff.
“Failure to show these college-educated humans how to utilize an electronic device to make routine subtractions resulted in their inability to perform simple arithmetic in a real-life situation,” commission member Jonathan Noisewater stated. “It is obviously the responsibility of a simple government-mandated training seminar to properly educate service staff how to complete grade-school-level mathematical computations.”
Santa Lucia is set to resume incorrect mathematics as early as this week.