West Fargo, ND – The FM Observer, which began as a simple scribble on a soiled napkin in the dank basement of a defunct church, is so very proud and humbled to once again accept the most prestigious award for Best Website of 2019.
Because of all our faithful readers, we somehow earned this award again by being the main source of news for many people who trust us to provide them accurate information about the latest happenings in our ever-changing world of fluxational madness.
Our incredibly dedicated staff of hundreds, who sometimes sleep less than two hours per night, feel this award only motivates them more to get less sleep in the future.
If you would like to stop by our corporate headquarters to see our latest award, please also feel free to enjoy some excellent Lobster Bisque which was made especially for you!
West Fargo, ND—With just a week of classes in the books, West Fargo High School students have already begun recognizing their staff.
According to an online poll compiled by a number of Instagram users, school gym teacher Bwayne MacMinnus has won the unofficial Creepiest Adult Ever award. A Hefe-filtered Instagram photo of MacMinnus garnered the most ‘likes’, earning him this distinct honor.
Students and faculty alike participated in the online poll, with the photo shown at left obtaining over 1,000 likes.
“The way he looks at you, I like, really get creeped out, like, every day during PE,” said one high school junior, who wished to remain anonymous.
“We’re all pretty sure Mr. MacMinnus is autistic or just weird. Or both?” said West Fargo senior Triel Juptack.
High School Principal Cermin Troivaxler also participated in the online poll. He feels that MacMinnus was an easy choice. “Bwayne keeps to himself in the teacher’s lounge. He usually just stands there peering at other staff members. The rest of the faculty tends to worry about him, but damn if he doesn’t keep those kids in line.”
MacMinnus beat out the English teacher with the lazy eye by a commanding margin. Congratulations, Bwayne!
Fargo, ND – The FM Observer is proud to announce that it has been selected to receive the prestigious Best Website Award. This amazing award came with a short note from the selection committee: “For continuously raising the bar for other websites to meet, we bestow this top award to the FM Observer. May you continue to thrive and lead by example for generations to come. Congratulations on a job well done!”
Obviously, this award came as a shock to us. On the Richter scale, this would be right up there with O.J. selling his Heisman trophy. “We’ve won some other minor awards before but never anything like this!” said a random staff member who was jumping for joy on his desk. “It’s amazing to see so many people all laughing and crying at the same time” said another.
A top team manager put it this way as she popped open a cheap bottle of champagne: “With a staff of over a hundred associates, it just goes to show what can be accomplished with a little hocus focus and a lot of elbow grease. We would mostly like to thank our readers and fans for their loyalty and also our parents for all of their unsolicited feedback.”
Our President and CEO, who wishes to remain anonymous for tax reasons, believes that since this award is the result of everyone’s contributions, from the managers and team leaders down to the translators and proof-readers, this award will be shared equally by all. Just like the Stanley Cup, the trophy will travel from home to home of everyone who helped make this possible. After it makes the rounds, it will finally come to rest in a special trophy case in the lobby area of our main corporate campus headquarters office building, right next to the coffee fountain.