Tag Archives: brawl

Emergency Counselors Now Available For Problematic Family Situations

We here at FECES are here to help you. Family Emergency Counseling Extra Services to the rescue!

Moorhead, MN – Summer means fun and family getogethers which can also lead to domestic disharmonies.

A new governMental agency called Family Emergency Counseling Extra Services (or FECES) is now here to help with an alphabet of problems including: altercations, brawls, conflicts, debates, eruptions, and fights.

If some serious disharmony breaks out during a gathering in your garage, at your lake cabin, or in a restaurant, just call Family Emergency Counseling Extra Services (or FECES) and they will professionally take care of your fecal matter.

When the shit hits the fan after the conversation turns to politics, climate change, or even gender fluidity, remember to immediately contact Family Emergency Counseling Extra Services (or FECES) to make sure everything comes out well in the end.

ANCHORMAN-Style Brawl Erupts in Motel 6 Parking Lot

Fargo, ND – Taking inspiration from the 3 wise men (Jim, Jack, Jose) and the movie Anchorman (in which news teams do battle with weapons in a back-alley), a handful of drunks at the Motel 6 in Fargo went at it last night in the establishment’s parking lot. These maniacs each sported weapons-of-choice: construction tools and even one was said to have wielded a long gun. The lunatics waged war on each other like fucking Braveheart for a number of minutes until police arrived to break up the melee. Charges have yet to be filed and a number of the men were brought by ambulance to Essentia hospital with injuries.

No word yet on whether or not Paul Ryan’s lie-packed Republican National Convention speech had anything to do with the argument between the men. This reporter would like to blame the guys’ brawl and every other world issue on Honey Boo Boo, but the timing of Ryan’s speech and this story is too perfect to ignore.