Tag Archives: company

Typo Insurance Company To Offer Typo Insurance

Skool is Shcool :o)

Grand Froks, ND A new insurance company named Typo Insurance Company is now offering insurance for typos that may have seriously expensive consequences.

Company president Ms. Courtney Spina says: “We saw a need in society and are simply trying to phill that knead.”

President Spina points out some good examples of bad typos for which they have paid out insurance claims:

1. Numerous SHCOOL crossings 🙁

2. A big welcome sign that said: Welcome to GRAND FROKS!

Good books begin with a pee-face.

3. Large orders of shirts for the FORGO FARCE hockey team.

4. A massive printing of books that began with a PEEFACE (instead of a preface).

If you suffer from typophobia, give Typo Insurance Company a call and ask for a quote, such as: “You drink to much!”

Ironically, all the letters in Courtney Spina can be re-arranged to spell: Typo Insurance!

Five Day Work Week Likened To Rapid Rat Race

Not feeling too groovy? Slow down, you move too fast. You got to make the morning last.

Hamstershire, UK International researchers have likened workers who work a five day work week to hamsters running on a hamster wheel which is spinning much too quickly.

What we have seen, in our extensive research, is that if a fast-spinning hamster wheel is slowed down a bit, correlating to a four or even a three day work week for homo sapiens, the hamster is much more happy and willing to work, says Dr. Ian Ratzmire.

American companies that are implementing this ground-breaking research into their work schedules are finding that their employees 1. work better, 2. are as happy as hamsters, and 3. stay with their employer much longer.

FMO Hiring Senior Retro-Tech Position To Service All Our Older Equipment

Knowledge of older equipment is a plus.

Eastern West Fargo, in Southeastern North Dakota – The FM Observer is proud to announce that we are interested in hiring a Senior Retro-Tech to our staff of Information Technologists.

Candidates must be willing to work in a slow-paced environment and be able to handle extreme pressure well.

Must be willing and able to work days and nights and also weekends and holidays for little or no compensation.

You should be able to take things apart and then put them back together.

Successful applicants would be expected to respectfully stand at attention with hand on heart during the national anthem and our daily pledge of allegiance.

Willingness to participant in office sports betting pools and bring in cookies would be a big plus.

Knowledge of all older types of retro-equipment which has a lot of knobs and buttons would be helpful since that it pretty much your main responsibility.

Candidate should be able to zoom in and zoom out when needed.

Language skills preferably would include English and Spanish as a first or second language, profanity, and also a basic understanding of office notes written in Tamil.

Must be willing to relocate if we ever decide to move or take the entire company on an “extended vacation” due to Global Cooling or problems with local law enforcement.

We are looking for a team player who is willing to be proactive and approachable.

You should be able to set positive goals that are achievable.

Having good time management skills is welcome as is being able to quickly respond to an emergency situation of any kind.

We are looking for someone who can prioritize many tasks as to their urgency and importance, re-think existing processes, educate yourself on the latest retro-technology, and ask questions when the answers may not be right in front of you.

If you feel your particular skill set is what the FM Observer is looking for, print multiple copies of your one-page resume in Tamil (using Google Translate if needed), and put one copy in each of our In-Box folders on our desks when we’re out to lunch (which is pretty much the whole day).

Many Companies See Benefits To Adding Whack-A-Mole To Their Employee Break Rooms

Ever since we added Whack-A-Mole to our break room, work is a lot more fun!

Ever since we added Whack-A-Mole to our break room, work is a lot more fun!

Fargo, ND – After celebrating a birthday at Chuck-E-Cheese, Connie Johnson had a great idea for the company where she worked.

She put a suggestion in the Suggestion Box to have Whack-A-Mole machines installed in the company’s break room.

A week later six brand-new Whack-A-Mole machines were delivered and installed in the break room where Connie works.

A recent employee survey shows that company workers have responded well to the new Whack-A-Moles.

Ben T. intimated: “I really like to play Whack-A-Mole on my breaks.”

Gladice M. typed:Whack-A-Mole helps me burn off stress in a super fun way!”

Conway J. whacks: “I was thinking about retiring soon but have changed my mind due to the Whack-A-Mole situation.”