Tag Archives: cult

Fargo Civic Center Purchased By Tom Cruise/Scientology

The Fargo Civic Center will soon become The Fargo Scientology Center

Fargo, ND – While Fargo city leaders were wondering what to do with the aging Fargo Civic Center, Scientology’s Tom Cruise made them an offer too good to pass up.

The Fargo Civic Center will be transitioned into The Fargo Scientology Center and become the living, breathing regional headquarters for hundreds of Scientology cult members to recruit more Scientologists to help recruit more Scientologists.

Tom Cruise believes this is truly a win/win scenario:

Fargo leaders are happy to finally get rid of the old Fargo Civic Center for a healthy price of two hundred million dollars.

The ghost of L. Ron Hubbard is happy because now his cult members can rid Planet Earth of all negativity and psychiatry, especially in the Fargo-Moorhead area.

Montana Pipe Dream A Religious Experience

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Old Man Hubbard

Helena, Montana – On this day in history, a veterinarian named James W. Hubbard (just call me “Jim”) would meet the love of his life, one young Philena “Jane” Potter.

Jim and Jane would then, soon after, adopt a young boy named Henry August Wilson, who would later change his legal name to Harry Ross Hubbard.

Harry, while working for the military in Nebraska, one day met a lovely teacher named Miss Ledora May Waterbury.

Together they had a boy whom they named Lafayette Ronald Hubbard. As a youngster, Lafayette loved spending time reading cheap fiction and visiting his grandfather back in big sky Montana.

While looking up at all the stars on Saturday nights, Grandpa Jim would make up crazy stories for young Lafayette about aliens from other planets while sitting around a campfire, smoking a peace pipe with their blood-brother Blackfeet Native American friends.

The next morning, the Hubbard family would all attend church together while young Lafayette was still stoned from smoking the Blackfoot peace pipe. Every time the pastor, who had a bad lisp, would thay the word “Satan“, young stoned Lafayette thought he was thaying the word “Thetan“.

When he grew up into a man, Lafayette Ronald Hubbard would go on to write a book about all of his grandfather’s kooky stories, and turn it into the largest, successful, fake-religious cult in the history of mankind, and call it Scientology. And now you know, the rest of the story!