Tag Archives: dazed and confused

Some Are Now Questioning If The Moorhead Interchange Planning Was Subpar

“What could have been fairly simple somehow ended up being extremely complicated and confusing.”

East Fargo, MN – After having used it for a while now, many are seriously scratching their heads while wondering what the hell went wrong during the early planning stages of the I-94 interchange at Moorhead’s Eighth Street.

One of the main comments we hear over and over is that there seems to be too many random roads running in seemingly random directions which makes the aerial map of this intersection look like cracks in a shattered windshield.

One possible reason for the obvious subpar planning could be that a new (but untested) computer function called “Random Suggestion” was used (too much) by traffic planners in what insiders refer to as “splashing the plan”.

Luckily, Moorhead’s quadruple diverging diamond interstate interchange only cost the taxpayers about $14,000,000 and it does seem to work rather well for those who have used it enough to become familiar with its plethora of peculiarities.

During Another Moment Of Confusion, Hillary Says She’s Voting For Trump

I love the Donald. I am voting for the Donald and you should too!

I love the Donald! I am voting for Donald Trump and you should too!

Clintonia, USA – While ostensibly suffering from another moment of dazed confusion, Hillary’s Clinton announced she is voting for Donald Trump for president.

After her army of aides and handlers tried to negate her pronouncement, she doubled down by also encouraging others to follow her lead and vote for The Donald.

Reporters quickly tried to change the subject by asking questions about other topics such as “Hillary, what’s your favorite pizza topping?” but Hillary seemed laser focused on the fact that she wanted to vote for the Trumpster.

Daughter Chelsea blamed her mother’s apparent lapse of judgment on the pneumonia medication she has been taking ever since she just barely stumbled into that black ambulance.

President Obama blamed George W. Bush for Hillary’s problems and then went golfing.

Bill Clinton was unavailable for comment about Hillary’s confused state of mind as he was off in a corner talking to some young female reporters about women’s rights issues.

Young Bird West Fargo

Naked Young Bird Found Dazed and Confused

Young Bird West Fargo

West Fargo, ND – Junior, a young bird from West Fargo, was seen this afternoon looking dazed and confused, lost, and completely wrecked.  He was also not wearing any clothes.

I tried to talk to him but it was no use.  He couldn’t understand a damn word I was saying.  He just looked at me with a very confused and puzzled face.

Finally I was able to locate his parents nearby who have been looking for junior since this morning.  I found out he left with some friends last night to go “learn nest building skills” but never returned home.  After taking one look at junior this morning it’s pretty evident that they went out and got totally shit faced.

Junior was last seen stumbling back home guided by his pissed off parents.

Although I would have loved to hear Junior’s crazy stories from last night and why he was found not wearing any clothes, he was at least found which makes for a great ending to a story on a Friday.