Recipes For Success

Cat Racing Coming To Fargo
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Cat Racing Coming To Fargo

November 15th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – The exciting sport of Cat Racing will soon be coming to Fargo! “Have some fun while betting on your favorite cat and get drunk at the same time. It just doesn’t get any better than that,” says...
Many Apple Pickers Who Choose To Make Apple Wine End Up Getting Quite Drunk
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Many Apple Pickers Who Choose To Make Apple Wine End Up Getting Quite Drunk

October 13th, 2017 | by Johnnny
West Fargo, ND – It’s that special time of year once again when apple pickers in the region start thinking about fermentation. Dr. Zymurgy explains that by using the magic of fermentation, a little bit of yeast and...
Anti-Distracted Driver Movement Gaining Steam
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Anti-Distracted Driver Movement Gaining Steam

June 14th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Hawley, MN – Just imagine you’re completely stopped at a red light and a distracted driver (who later claims he didn’t see you) rear-ends your vehicle at 50 mph without ever even slamming on the brakes. This is...
New Tiger Woods Invitational Golf Tournament Only For Legally Drunk Players
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New Tiger Woods Invitational Golf Tournament Only For Legally Drunk Players

May 31st, 2017 | by Johnnny
Jupiter, Florida – The King of modern golf says it is time for him to start his own invitational golf tournament. Tiger Woods says his new PGA tourney shall be called the Tiger Woods DUI Invitational. Each participant will...
Dr. Pepper Advises All His Patients To Drink More Soda Pop
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Dr. Pepper Advises All His Patients To Drink More Soda Pop

February 20th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Pepper Pike, OH – Dr. Pepper, who’s become a well-known physician throughout the country because of his promotion of health on his television show, is encouraging all his patients to drink more soda pop. “In the...
Drunk Zamboni Driver Ices Ex-Wife’s Property
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Drunk Zamboni Driver Ices Ex-Wife’s Property

February 13th, 2015 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – It was probably bound to happen eventually. A drunk Zamboni driver “temporarily borrowed” the big ice machine to give his ex-wife an early Valentine’s Day present. Mr. Sam Pony has been charged...
Insane Ramblings From Random Drunk Bar Patron
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Insane Ramblings From Random Drunk Bar Patron

June 25th, 2014 | by Bill Burns
There she was.  Right there in the corner.  I knew I knew her from somewhere.  Was she supposed to be there on purpose?  Did god intend for us to meet at this exact moment?  Was this all planned? My mind was racing. I...
Insane Ramblings From Random Drunk Bar Patron
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Insane Ramblings From Random Drunk Bar Patron

June 12th, 2014 | by Bill Burns
  It was a rainy dark night. I opened the bright bar doors.  Both had a green and red neon sign on it. I walked in and sat at the bar.  The table was sticky and smelled of stale beer.  Luckily the bar stool had a...
Fargo Proud To Be Named Drunkest City In America
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Fargo Proud To Be Named Drunkest City In America

January 14th, 2014 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – Fargo is proud to recently be named the drunkest city in the nation. How proud is Fargo of this new distinction? So proud that the Fargo City Commission immediately passed a unanimous resolution declaring...
Your Buddy Has Stuff On Couch So You Get To Crash On Floor
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Your Buddy Has Stuff On Couch So You Get To Crash On Floor

August 19th, 2013 | by Nick
Fargo, ND—After a long night of drinking, your buddy let you crash at his house the other night. Normally you’d be able to crash on the couch, but he has a bunch of junk sitting on there and he doesn’t want it...