Tag Archives: ecards

An Online Christmas Card You Can Send To A Friend

Merry Christmas to whomever you are!

As we gather round the Christmas tree,
Which was chopped and flocked for you and me,
We nibble on some scones and sip Chablis,
While outside it’s a dangerous one degree.

All the nicely wrapped presents that we see,
Are a result of that black friday shopping spree.
Why get one when you can afford to buy three,
Of those red candles scented with potpourri?

Christmas is a fun time of family glee,
Enhanced on Facebook with hyperbole.
Rather than giving each person a new CD,
Tis way more awesome to get a real pony!

One might suggest getting some activity,
Perhaps head out and go cross country ski.
But most would likely have to agree,
They’d rather watch football on NBC.

Dont Speak it. Ecard it.

I Only Speak Ecard Now.

You’ve seen them.  You’ve probably posted one, two, or twelve hundred.  Ecards are the new scourge of facebook.

Everyone’s original thoughts have now finally gone the way of the dodo bird.  Intellectual thinking has vanished.  Poof.  Gone.  It seems everyone I know now only speaks in ecards now.

It goes like this: One wakes up in the morning, logs onto facebook and thinks, “man..I gotta post something deep and inspirational.”  They then proceed to comb facebook for an ecard that relates to something they are thinking so they can share this deep moment.  They don’t find anything so they visit the ecard website.  After careful consideration they share an ecard on facebook.

Live Long Enough To Shit

Perfect.  Now your friends are hopefully inspired for the rest of the morning.  You can finally continue on with the day.

Moving on, you head to work.  Having to deal with dumbass coworkers is hell.  We all know that.  What better way to express your outrage than an ecard.  No need to talk here.  Let’s ecard it!  Combing facebook you see a friend posted an ecard you agree with.  How can it be?  Is this person experiencing the same workplace crap that you are?  We are so alike! I must share.

I Wish You Were As Productive As Your Rectum Is

Great, great.  Now that that is out of your system it’s time for a break.  Wait, you’re feeling goofy so you head into the bathroom where you can’t be bothered and share something funny.  You must only show it in ecard form as that is the only way your friends can understand you now.

*combing the ecard website

Ahh perfect.  You found one.  Just what you were thinking.  *Share


Hahaha.  You pat yourself on the back because you made a funny.  You realize you haven’t talked to a soul yet today and that’s fantastic and completely normal.


Alright! Work is done and you’re at home.  There you are sitting on your patio alone.  Not sure why.  You realize you better ecard what it’s like to be you right now on your patio.  There has to be an ecard for it.  Yes!  Indeed there is!



Your husband tells you to come in.  You don’t speak to your husband anymore either.  You only ecard him.  So, you pull up your computer and BAM!  You ecard him your thoughts.

Dinner Party Event Ecard

You huddle into your room to watch Honey Boo Boo that you had previously recorded while your husband is probably thinking about divorcing you.


So there you have it.  A day in the life of a human being in the year 2013 where ecards through facebook have become the new means of communication.


Don’t speak it!  Ecard it!

Dont Speak it.  Ecard it.