Recipes For Success

Democrats Considering Lowering Voting Age To Ten While Offering Them Free Candy

Washington, DC – Nervous Democrats needing a win in the next presidential election are pushing to lower the voting age to ten while offering children free candy and recreational marijuana. Speaker Nancy Pelosi believes...

Fargo Man Won’t Confirm Nor Deny That He’s Running For President

Fargo, ND – At this time, Fargo native Rinfret Pounders will neither confirm or deny that he is planning on running for president of the United States in the next presidential election. Speculation surrounding the...

Emperor Penguin Elected President Of Antarctica

South Pole, Antarctica – History has once again been made as the southern-most continent has elected its first penguin president. Skipper Kowalski along with his wife Frieda will be moving into the presidential ice palace...

Clever ‘Calibration Errors’ Ensure Democrat Victories In Every Political Race

Washington, DC – Even if no Democrats show up to vote in the upcoming state and national elections, Republicans better be ready to lose each and every political race in the country. Democrat community organizers have...

Repetitive Phone Calls Encourage Civic Duty

I would like to publicly give a “thumbs up” and thank those people that made the multitude of repetitive phone calls to remind me to vote. Since I have been living under a rock for about a year, I have had no...

Hobo President Frank Donovan Kicks Off Re-election Campaign

Fargo, ND – The Commander-In-Chief of Fargo’s underground homeless community is making a strong push for re-election this November. Frank Donovan, or “Hobo Frank” as he is more affectionately known, is...

North Dakota county hopes somebody will run for prosecutor

Cavalier, ND – Pembina county is in need of a lead prosecuting attorney. Amidst political controversy that forced the last county prosecutor out of office, the position has been left vacant for the past couple months. This...