Tag Archives: england

Prince Harry And Meghan Markle Moving To Moorhead Minnesota To Live A Normal Life

Baby Archie is looking forward to attending school in Moorhead.

Moorhead, MN – The bad news is things are not going well for Prince Harry and his wife and child while living in England.

The good news is that Harry, Meghan Markle, and their baby Archie will soon be moving to Moorhead, Minnesota in search of “a normal life”.

Prince Harry’s relationship with his brother William has devolved into an internecine war while the Duchess of Sussex is under constant negative media scrutiny in England.

Meghan Markle, who once enjoyed visiting a friend in Moorhead, decided the royal couple wants baby Archie to grow up in a nice, friendly, normal community like Moorhead.

Meghan also likes Moorhead because it doesn’t have a newspaper but does have an airport.

Prince Harry may want to build a castle in Moorhead for his family, along with a moat…with a boat.

Ringo Was The Most ‘Normal’ Of The Beatles

Paul, Ringo, John, George

Fargo, ND – While he was in Fargo recently, purchasing a home in the Dinglewood Heights area, the FM Observer had a chance to chat with Ritchie Starkey, a.k.a. Ringo Starr, drummer for The Beatles.

FMO: How would you compare yourself to the other Beatles?

RS: I honestly believe that I was the most normal and the most grounded of the group.

FMO: Why do think that?

RS: Well, George started playing sitar with his Eastern guru friends, Paul began puffing the magic dragon, and John was tripping with Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.

FMO: And what about you?

RS: My experiences as a youngster dealing with a number of different illnesses really humbled and grounded me, which is why I like the idea of having a home in Fargo.

FMO: Well, welcome to Fargo! Any general thoughts about your life as you look back?

RS: It’s just really quite amazing that I went from living in a sanatorium and playing drums in their hospital band to becoming a member of the Fab Four. It truly has been a long and winding road!

Five Day Work Week Likened To Rapid Rat Race

Not feeling too groovy? Slow down, you move too fast. You got to make the morning last.

Hamstershire, UK International researchers have likened workers who work a five day work week to hamsters running on a hamster wheel which is spinning much too quickly.

What we have seen, in our extensive research, is that if a fast-spinning hamster wheel is slowed down a bit, correlating to a four or even a three day work week for homo sapiens, the hamster is much more happy and willing to work, says Dr. Ian Ratzmire.

American companies that are implementing this ground-breaking research into their work schedules are finding that their employees 1. work better, 2. are as happy as hamsters, and 3. stay with their employer much longer.

Busload Of Fargo Folks Heading To The Royal Wedding

This beautiful bus will be bringing some very excited Fargoans to see the big Royal Wedding!

Fargo, ND – What started out as just a joking comment during some weekend beers in a garage has now turned into an official chartered bus that will be bringing a full busload of people from Fargo, North Dakota to attend the Royal Wedding in England.

“Yah, me and some of our neighbors kinda got this-here idea started, and then all of a sudden we got ourselves a full bus going to see Prince Hairy tie the knot with that Markle gal from America,” says Clyde Hammerschmidt of North Fargo.

Just in case they have any last-minute cancellations, please let Clyde Hammerschmidt know if you would like to be a stand-by substitute traveller to go see a once-in-a-lifetime chance to see a historical wedding of Royal proportions.

Golfer Ian Poultergeist Somehow Got Trapped In A Television Set

Ian Poultergeist trapped in this TV.

Buckinghamshire, England – Professional golfer Ian Poultergeist who is known for his bold fashion has somehow gotten trapped in an old television set.

Mr. Poultergeist: “Yes, I am definitely trapped in this TV and cannot seem to figure a way out.”

Becoming trapped in a television set is quite uncommon but has been known to happen from time to time, especially in England.

Cable Company: “We don’t know where Mr. Poultergeist is but would like to ask if you’d like to upgrade to our Premium Package.”

Ian Poultergeist’s golf caddie says Ian will continue to play in all upcoming tournaments that Ian has had scheduled for the 2017 season.

Mr. Poultergeist: “To all my fans: Hello and I’m fine. To everyone: Please help me find a way out of this Telly!”

The Queen Of England Wants Stonehenge Moved To Buckingham Palace

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Stonehenge to be relocated from Wiltshire to Westminster, by order of The Queen.

Wiltshire, England – Rumor has it that The Queen of England wants Stonehenge moved from the town of Wiltshire to the grounds of Buckingham Palace before she steps down from the throne.

John Thomas, an expert in English history, says that if that’s what The Queen wants, then it’s the right thing to do.

He explains: “It actually makes a lot of sense to move the Neolithic standing stones from Amesbury to London so that more tourists can easily see them.”

Some believe that the archaic attraction should even be refurbished along the way, since some of the stones that date back to 3000 BC are missing.

Once again, John Thomas: “The Queen, in all of her elegance, likes things to be maintained and proper. If she wants the circle¬†of stones to be restored¬†back to their full glory, then we shall make it so.”

FMO Interviews The Queen Of England

The Queen sits with us for an interview.

The Queen sits with us for an interview.

London, England – Who says persistence doesn’t pay off? After many repeated requests for an exclusive interview with the Royal Queen of England, she finally graciously agreed to grant us permission to ask her a few questions. Enjoy!

FM Observer: You’re known to many as Queen Elizabeth II. What is your actual full name?
Her Majesty: My real name is Elizabeth Alexandra Mary Windsor.

FM Observer: Is that the name on your passport?
Her Majesty: Actually, I don’t have a passport.

FM Observer: Do you have any favorite nicknames?
Her Majesty: Oh, probably Lillibet, which is short for Elizabeth.

FM Observer: May we call you Lillibet?
Her Majesty: No, you may not.

FM Observer: What about this one: When is your birthday?
Her Majesty: I have two birthdays. April 21, 1926 is my actual birthday, however it is celebrated on the second Saturday in June. This is called the Trooping of the Colours.

FM Observer: Well, that certainly makes a lot of sense. We’ve heard that you can order a dark beer in eleven languages. Just for fun, how would you say it in…French?
Her Majesty: Je voudrais un biere brune, s’il vous plait.

FM Observer: Very impressive. So, do you actually want a beer?
Her Majesty: No, of course not.

FM Observer: They describe you as a constitutional monarch. Is that some sort of butterfly?
Her Majesty: Are you serious? Is this interview almost over?

FM Observer: Hey, I’m asking the questions here. Who was your Daddy and what did he Do?
Her Majesty: His name was King George VI and he was the King of England. I have been Queen since February 6, 1952, ever since he died.

FM Observer: What is your husband’s full name?
Her Majesty: That would be Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh.

FM Observer: Is it true that both you and your husband, Prince Philip are great great grandchildren of Queen Victoria?
Her Majesty: Yes, that is true. Why do you ask?

FM Observer: So, would it not also be true that both of you share Queen Victoria as your great great grandmother?
Her Majesty: Yes, that is also true. Where are we going with this?

FM Observer: Well, then, since you are a direct descendant of Queen Victoria’s oldest son King Edward VII, and since your husband, The Duke of Edinburgh is a direct descendant of Queen Victoria’s third child Princess Alice, then would not that mean that you married your third cousin?!
Her Majesty: What?! Was this whole interview a set up so you could accuse me of an incestuous marriage?

FM Observer: OK, since we seem to have hit a sensitive hot button issue, let’s wrap it up with one final topic. You seem to like dogs. More specifically, the Corgi breed. What are the names of some of your favorite Corgis?
Her Majesty: Gloin, Gizzard, and Puke.

FM Observer: How did you come up with those names?
Her Majesty: From trying to describe my feelings after doing interviews like this one. Good Day!