Tag Archives: frackology

Tie-Dyed Wind Chill Map Warms Hearts Of Former Hippies

Tie-Dye Wind-Chills :o)

Grand Forks, ND Some former hippies who now work for the National Weather Service believe one of their recent windchill maps hearkened back to tie-dyed shirts from days gone by.

Buzz Marley, assistant climatologist since 1970: “Wow, man. Like we got a lot of calls about this map, dude.”

Arlo Zappa, radar technician since Woodstock: “A lot of people really seemed to respond to the tie-dye nature of how we’re mapping the wind chill!”

Karma Krishna, chief meteorologist since the Grateful Dead died: “These tie-dye maps are really super cool, especially if you’re listening to music at the same time.”

Algore Sends Frigid Polar Vortex Into North Dakota As Punishment For Fracking

It is best to not piss off the Godfather of Global Climate Change.

Devils Lake, ND – The Godfather of Global Warming has decided to punish the northern half of MegaKota by routing the icy Polar Vortex back into our entire region.

FMO: “Algore, why did you decide to blast Northern Megakota with a mega-dose of bone chilling Arctic air?”

Algore: “Well, now, I will tell you why. So, sometimes we have to use a carrot and/or a stick. Because of all the terrible horizontal fracking that’s been going on, which I have said is a big No-No, North Dakota needs a strong dis-incentive to not continue with this naughty practice.”

During the near foreseeable future, concerned weatherologists are warning that Global Cooling will be moving in, much like a prolonged uncomfortable visit from your in-laws.

Montana Earthquake Either Caused By Global Fracking Or Payback For Unabomber

Lincoln, Montana: Home of the infamous Unabomber gets punished with a strong 5.8 Earthquake.

Lincoln, MT – Experts are divided on what exactly caused the rare 5.8 earthquake that recently struck western Montana.

One school of thought is that Global Fracking was the cause of the quake.

“All those fracking oil drillers are upsetting Mother Earth who doesn’t like horizontal holes being drilled through her upper crust,” opined long-time resident Miryam Bravenboer.

Others strongly believe it was simply payback for Lincoln, Montana having been the home of The Unabomber, Ted Kaczynski.

Either way, this earthquake was felt far and wide, along with hours of seismic aftershocks which knocked over beers in pubs and rocked older bears with cubs.

How do you feel about earthquakes?
Are you an anti-fracker?
Do you remember The Unabomber?
How much can you bench press?
When was the last time you sent a postcard?