Tag Archives: free tickets

Directions To Our FMO Corporate Headquarters For Reader Meet-N-Greet Parties

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Our FMO Corporate Office Park can be reached from almost anywhere!

West Fargo, ND – In appreciation of our beloved and faithful readers, your FM Observer will be hosting a sensational series of Reader Meet-N-Greets during each of the upcoming weekends.

Expensively fine free food will continually be served by our very own French Chef Jean-Claude Sorbonne including Loony Lobster Bisque, Polar Bear Patty Burgers, Midwest Carp Casserole, Red Rum Spicy Pie, and old-fashioned Butterscotch Pudding.

Fabulous door prizes will include: A vintage Vespa scooter, valuable paintings by Amsterdam Douglass, Get-out-of-Jail cards, one-way trips To Grand Forks, unopened cans of Spam, breeding pairs of Sugar Gliders, autographed and framed pictures of Dr. Willy Nilly, and lots more!

Live Music will be provided by The Double Negatives.

Amazingly accurate fortune tellings will be performed by Precog!

How to get to FMO Headquarters from almost anywhere: Turn right at the next light, drive 4.2 miles until you see a small house on a corner, turn left, and then simply follow our welcome signs. Enjoy! And thanks for reading the FM Observer ☺

Sign Up To Join The FMO Birthday Club For Only $100

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For a mere $100, you will enjoy all the perks of being a proud member of the FMO Birthday Club.

West Fargo, ND – Are you a person who has a birthday and who likes to have fun? Have you been looking for a way to make perfunctory birthdays more functory?

May we suggest that you join the FM Observer Birthday Club by sending us all of your personal identifying information, along with $100 for shipping and handling.

From there, the possibilities are endless!

On or near your birthday, you may receive a personal call or visit from The Pope who might even give you a free rosary, and show you different cool things you can do with it!

We may do a satirically fake-news post about you on our website and unleash it to go viral in South Dakota!

You possibly could get any number of hot pizzas delivered to your current GPS location and/or multiple singing telegrams by entire robed church choirs!

Your name might be entered into a drawing to travel with us to Goosey Goosey Island for an endless bonfire weekend where you may be taught our secret double handshake and possibly be given your very own emergency whistle.

By joining the FMO Birthday Club for only $100, you could maybe win a lifetime supply of some random items selected especially for you.

Finally, for any new and fully-paid members to the FMO Birthday Club, you will not only be invited to go to the Humane Society and select yourself a free puppy, but you will also get to name it and keep it for the rest of your lives!

World Famous Jazz Monkey Set To Wow Fargo Jazz Aficionados

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Thelonius Monkey set to take Fargo’s hot new jazz stage and wow the crowd with his unique world-class sounds!

Fargo, ND – If you are a major jazz aficionado like we are, you are in for a real treat when Thelonius Monkey comes to town with his unique jazz sounds that have won the world over and put him in the main international jazz spotlight.

“Having been playing his own kind of new-age jazz since age zero, Thelonius Monkey is his own idol and mentor. There’s really no one that can teach him anything because he does it all,” says Groove Magazine’s chief editor, Dig Jazzstone.

Thelonius Monkey describes his music as 50% eclectic, 50% electric, and 50% hectic.

He once heard a woman humming an abstruse tune at the grocery store and then immediately went home and recorded his own version of it which became his first jazz hit called Ba Nanny, which quickly jumped to #1 on the Simian Jazz charts.

For hard-to-get tickets to see the incredible Thelonius Monkey do his thing in Fargo, simply call 1-800-JAZZ-MONKEY and book your hot seats now!

World-Famous Scandinavian Folk Singer Coming To Fargo

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World-famous Hidah Tinkenshine will grace Fargo-Moorhead with her more than 100 hit songs from Scandinavia.

World-famous Hidah Tinkenbörg will grace Fargo-Moorhead with her more than 100 hit songs from Scandinavia.

Fargo, ND – The FM Observer is very proud and excited to announce that world-famous folk accordianist Hidah Tinkenbörg will be performing in Fargo sometime in the “very near future”.

Few singers ever achieve first-name-only status such a Madonna but Hidah is one of those lucky few who have arrived at super stardom through hard work, a bit of luck, and a ton of talent.

Ms. Tinkenbörg will be performing all of her hit songs that have taken the Scandinavian world by storm for the past four decades. Some of her most popular songs that she promises to play in Fargo include: I Love You, Let’s Sip Some Coffee, Please Play With Me, and of course her biggest hit song: Where Are You Hiding?

How did this come to pass you might ask that someone as famous as Hidah would come to Fargo? Answer: An older member of our staff recently went on a Scandinavian cruise ship and ended up sleeping with Hidah.

If you would like to win free tickets to experience the power of Hidah, please email us and include a line from one of your favorite Hidah Tinkenbörg songs. You will know if you’ve won tickets because a long white limousine will show up at your front door a few hours before each concert.