Recipes For Success

Expensive Study Finds That Year 2100 Is Only About 82 Years Away
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Expensive Study Finds That Year 2100 Is Only About 82 Years Away

November 27th, 2017 | by Johnnny
St. Paul, MN – A recently completed study for the state of Minnesota has made an astonishing discovery about the year 2100. Minnesota scientists, working with NASA, have determined that the year 2100 in Earth Years is only...
Hurricane Limbaugh Set To Wreak Havoc On Liberal Media
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Hurricane Limbaugh Set To Wreak Havoc On Liberal Media

September 6th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Palm Beach, FL – After Rush Limbaugh suggested that Hurricane Irma is merely a liberal hoax, Hurricane Limbaugh suddenly popped up in its place and is expected to stir things up on the mainland. Obviously caused by climate...
Global Warming Causing Ice To Become The New Currency
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Global Warming Causing Ice To Become The New Currency

August 7th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Meltonville, Iowa – Due to increasingly increasing high and low temperatures throughout the Upper Midwest region, unmelted ice is beginning to become the new currency in this post-Global Warming economy. Based on his own...
Delaware Has Broken Off From The United States
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Delaware Has Broken Off From The United States

July 18th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Dover, Delaware – The entire state of Delaware has somehow broken off from the North American mainland just like an iceberg. Delaware, along with everyone on it, is now adrift out in the cold Atlantic Ocean. There are some...
Area Drought Being Blamed On Dry Conditions And ‘Global Drying’
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Area Drought Being Blamed On Dry Conditions And ‘Global Drying’

June 26th, 2017 | by Johnnny
West Fargo, ND – Our new staff droutologist Dr. Rod Guth has just issued his final report on the area drought. Rod believes that short-term dry conditions coupled with the long-term Global Drying are the two main reasons...
Amsterdam Douglass Donates Priceless Painting For Global Cooling Fundraiser
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Amsterdam Douglass Donates Priceless Painting For Global Cooling Fundraiser

May 12th, 2017 | by Johnnny
West Fargo, ND – To get things kicked off for our Annual Global Cooling Silent Auction Fundraiser, local artist Amsterdam Douglass has graciously donated his amazing work called True Blue Sky. Amsterdam Douglass:...
Ambien User Somnambulates To X-Wife’s House To Ask For Nullification Of Divorce
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Ambien User Somnambulates To X-Wife’s House To Ask For Nullification Of Divorce

February 12th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Moorhead, MN – After taking more than the prescribed normal dosage of Ambien to help him fall asleep, Victor Rishikof walked in his sleep to the home of his ex-wife while only wearing a bath robe. Once there, Victor...
Glyndon MN Considering Covering Entire Town With A Clear Dome
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Glyndon MN Considering Covering Entire Town With A Clear Dome

February 10th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Glyndon, MN – The quaint town of Glyndon which is often merely thought of as a suburb of Dilworth will possibly soon be covered with a good-sized clear plastic dome thus making it one of the largest greenhouses in the...
Ways To Stay Warm During A North Dakota Winter
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Ways To Stay Warm During A North Dakota Winter

January 12th, 2017 | by Johnnny
West Fargo, ND – We asked all of our FMO team members to brainstorm various ways to stay warm during the dead of winter here near Fargo, North Dakota. We then slowly simmered the list of a hundred ideas down into this Top...
Global Cooling Forces Fargo To Purchase Ice Breaker For Red River
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Global Cooling Forces Fargo To Purchase Ice Breaker For Red River

December 23rd, 2016 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – “Drastic times require drastic measures,” notes Marvin Nimmaster, president of the Red River Coast Guard Society as the City of Fargo has voted unanimously to purchase a Class-D All-Weather...