Recipes For Success

Man Tries To Rob Convenience Store For A Pack Of Cigarettes Using Only A Pillow
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Man Tries To Rob Convenience Store For A Pack Of Cigarettes Using Only A Pillow

September 15th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – Henry Doofus was booked on charges of felonious attempted robbery after he tried to rob a convenience store while only carrying a pillow as a weapon. The store clerk, Richard Stonewall, at first thought it was a...
Volunteers Needed To Test New Bullet-Proof Jackets
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Volunteers Needed To Test New Bullet-Proof Jackets

January 20th, 2017 | by Johnnny
West Fargo, ND – Security Test Labs is seeking more volunteers to help test out some new bullet proof jackets poised to soon hit the market. Volunteers will be compensated for their time and trouble but must first sign a...
Harambe’s Family To Sue Zoo Who Blew Him To Timbuktu
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Harambe’s Family To Sue Zoo Who Blew Him To Timbuktu

November 18th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Cincinnati, OH – Family members of the recently murdered, captive, and endangered silverback named Harambe (pronounced Harambe) have lawyered up and plan to sue the zoo where Harambe was shot while assisting a young,...
School Board to Implement School Shooting Drills
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School Board to Implement School Shooting Drills

June 11th, 2014 | by Nick
In the wake of what has been the 74th school shooting since the Newtown massacre, school districts are taking a proactive steps to better prepare their kids for the sort of danger that could potentially take place within...
Crazed Gun Owners Planning Government Takeover Defense Strategy
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Crazed Gun Owners Planning Government Takeover Defense Strategy

January 28th, 2013 | by Nick
Birmingham, AL – Deranged gun zealots across the nation are banding together in a show of defiance over the Obama administration’s looming gun law initiatives. A gun guy in Alabama is leading the charge by launching...