Tag Archives: house

New Events Center To Eventually Open In Fargo After It’s Made Somewhat More Inhabitable

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The new Hades House Events Center to hopefully open soon for non-formal events.

Fargo, ND – To provide more space for special events in the Fargo area, Hades House is planning on opening its doors after a massive amount of much-needed work is done.

Owner/manager York Glockenstein sees Hades House as a real nice place to have a small to medium sized event, if you’re willing to overlook some potentially serious problems.

Mr. Glockenstein admits that “the floor and the ceiling are in major disrepair and the walls have seen better days,” but he does believe it is fixable.

“Once people have a drink or two, it might not seem quite as bad,” York explains but is certain that a lot of refurbishing must be done to even safely enter the building.

If you would like to reserve the Hades House for a special event, contact York Glockenstein and let him know your possible dates, and also how flexible you are with those dates in case the remodeling project does not go well.

Cooking Corner: How To Cook A Caged Pigeon

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“The only thing better than cooking one caged pigeon is cooking two caged pigeons.” –Ped Gascoigne

Fargone, ND – Today in our Cooking Corner, we are interviewing Mr. Ped Gascoigne, who is opening a new restaurant in Downtown Fargo called The Squab House.

Since Mr. Gascoigne specializes in roasting caged pigeons, we’re going to find out from Ped exactly how to properly roast a caged pigeon.

Mr. Ped Gascoigne in his own words:

The pigeon is a stout-bodied bird with a rather short neck, so I recommend two caged pigeons per person, just to be safe.

After plucking and dressing your caged pigeons, preheat the oven to 500°F, or 260°C, or 533°K.

Paint the caged pigeons with some smidgens of melted butter. Then salt and sear the caged pigeons in a hot pan big enough for two plucked pigeons.

Once half cooked, pop the half-baked salty seared caged pigeons into the preheated oven for 10 minutes, breast side up.

Then remove the formerly caged pigeons from the oven and let them rest for five minutes before garnishing them with some chopped parsley.

Serve with a medium-bodied pinot noir or a stout-bodied pale ale. Enjoy!

Editor’s Note: You can procure good caged pigeons from any certifiable pigeon farmer in your area.

Interestingly, all of the letters in Ped Gascoigne can be re-arranged to spell: Caged Pigeons!

House-Warming Gift Ideas For The West Fargo And Fargo Area

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Hi! Welcome to the neighborhood!

West Fargo, ND – If a new couple has just moved into your neighborhood, within the first two weeks after they’ve arrived, you should definitely show up unannounced at their front door during normal visiting hours, with a few nice house-warming presents.

This will not only satisfy all your curiosities about what your new neighbors are like, but will also allow them to get a good first impression of you and some of your idiosyncrasies.

Showing up without any sort of present is very gauche! Because you are expecting your new neighbors to invite you in for snacks and coffee or beer, having some sort of gift is certainly mandatory.

Specifically for the Fargo and West Fargo area, here are some great ideas for good house-warming gifts:

☺ A Trump-scented candle to make America smell great again
☺ Any animal about to be euthanized at the Humane Society
☺ A list of all your phone numbers and email addresses
☺ A box of doggy treats for canine family members
☺ A partially redacted copy of the Mueller Report
☺ A variety pack of different colored duct tapes
☺ A framed autographed picture of yourself
☺ An extra-large (unopened) bottle of booze
☺ An old Bible from any second-hand store
☺ A living, breeding pair of Sugar Gliders
☺ A brand new submersible sump pump
☺ A few of your favorite hotdish recipes
☺ Season tickets to Bison football
☺ Any Michael Bolton CDs
☺ A few memory lanterns

Kitchen Remodeling Company Creating Questionably Satisfied Customers

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Done is better than perfect!

Moorhead, MN – OK Remodeling Company has proudly been trying to remodel kitchens in the area for years.

They maybe sometimes miss the mark but at least they try hard and work till the job is supposedly done.

What do clients say about OK Remodeling Company?

Yemane Ambessa: “When we saw what they did to our kitchen, my wife and I were utterly stunned, and then we both started crying.”

Jago Brownlock: “I would like to track down the person who recommended this company to us.”

If you have need for a remodeling company to give your kitchen a new look, call OK Remodeling Company at 666-6666 any time after midnight.

Fargo Family Finds Gold Bars Inside Walls Of Their Newly Purchased Older Home

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Walls filled with gold bars found in North Fargo home.

Fargo, ND – After purchasing an older home in North Fargo for about $240,000, Mr. Dell Glawson and his dear wife Goldie decided to remodel their older home by knocking out a few of the main floor walls.

In going for that more “open-concept” look, two of the old walls dividing the kitchen and living room had to be removed, which they chose to do themselves.

What Mr. Dell Glawson and his lovely wife Goldie soon discovered inside their walls was shiny gold bars stacked from floor to ceiling.

Based on the current price of gold, it is estimated that the gold they found in their walls is worth about $24 million dollars, or almost exactly 100 times more than the purchase price of their older home.

Ironically, Goldie’s Chinese fortune cookie the night before their big discovery predicted: “Mega-wealth will soon come a-knocking.”

Double ironically, all of the letters in Dell Glawson can be remodeled to spell: Golden Walls!

Moorhead Woman Builds House All By Herself

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I am truly proud of what I’ve accomplished with my own two hands.

Moorhead, MN – Evette Brickhouse set a lofty goal of building her own home.

While sipping on a few jumbo margaritas with a friend three years ago, Ms. Brickhouse decided she wanted to build herself her own dream home “with no help from nobody!”

Using the internet, Evette learned how to make bricks in her own old kiln using clay from her yard.

She cleverly found and used scrap wood from neighborhood boulevards during Clean Out Week.

After three long labor-intensive years of doing “just one task after another”, Ms. Brickhouse was proudly able to finally reveal her new dream home to some dumbfounded friends and doubting distant relatives.

Evette in her own words: “I am a big believer in setting goals. Without goals, a hockey team would never win a game. Well, I just fucking won the game of life. And to all my naysayers, you can just bite me!”

Fargo Man Returns Home To Discover Demolition Crew Destroying Wrong House

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Fargo man quickly becomes fluent in profanity.

Fargo, ND – You can imagine the shock that Mr. Henry Kaberry who lives at 2088 Muscat Street was feeling when he pulled into his driveway.

While his children were still at school and his wife was at work, he decided to go workout at the gym on his day off.

Upon returning home, their recently-remodeled house was already half torn down by a giant claw attached to some large machinery which had badly torn up his potential yard-of-the-month.

As it turns out, the demolition crew was supposed to destroy the house at 1088 Muscat Street but with the 1 looking like a 2, the unthinkable happened.

Ironically, when Henry Kaberry went in for a routine physical exam last year, he ended up having his gall bladder removed after the hospital mistakenly put him into the wrong room.

Bose Named Next Speaker Of The House

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Say hello to the next Speaker of the House!

Framingham, MA – Bose has been named the next Speaker of the House.

With the power vacuum left by resigning John Boehner and now unfilled by indecisive Republicans, President Obama has used his growing Executive Action Authority to name Bose as the next Speaker of the House.

Democratics agree that Bose is the best and logical choice for Speaker of the House and praise President Obama’s wisdom and leadership during these difficult and unchartered times.

As Speaker of the House, Bose will be second in line to become president, after Vice President Biden.

Despite the fact that Bose is a privately held company, its stock value tripled on the news that Bose is the next Speaker of the House.

Visit Fargo’s Famous Upside Down House

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Take your frown & turn it upside down.

Fargo, ND – One of Fargo’s lesser known but more popular tourist attractions is the Upside Down House.

Executive Director Chidinma Obialo who grew up upside down says Fargo’s Upside Down House is the only one of its kind in the entire country.

Guests are encouraged to write upside down comments on the walls of the house.

The comments range from: “˙uǝǝs ɹǝʌǝ ǝʌɐɥ I ǝɔɐld dn pǝʞɔnɟ ʇsoɯ ǝɥʇ sᴉ sᴉɥʇ”

to: “˙uʍop ǝpᴉsdn ǝʌᴉl oʇ ʇuɐʍ ᴉ dn ʍoɹƃ ᴉ uǝɥʍ”

The Upside Down House is easy to find: Just go six blocks East, turn North for about a half mile, and then turn onto Upside Down Drive.

No One Leaves Alive From This Fargo Haunted House

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This mansion is the pictorial definition of “Haunted”.

Fargo, ND – It’s the place everyone knows about, but no one talks about. Fargo’s Minister Mansion, as it is called, is thee most haunted house between Moorhead, Minnesota and Missoula, Montana. If you don’t know where it is exactly, ask any long-time Fargo resident who believes in God, but fears the undead.

Some of what we do know: A Methodist minister once lived in the home, until he mysteriously died one night, along with his entire family, and all their pets. Since then, it seems that no one who’s actually entered this haunted house has come out, alive.

Based on well-placed police surveillance cameras, every Sunday night there seems to be a gathering of some sort, inside the mansion, just as the minister who lived there had for all his church members every Sunday night.

Minister Mansion will soon be the subject of a new upcoming investigative reality mini-series on the FX Channel in which they will attempt to probe the haunted mansion by using hi-tech robots and drones.