Tag Archives: ice breaker

Fargo Man Impaled By Large Icicle Doesn’t Notice It Until He Gets Home To His Wife

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Those large high-hanging icicles can become quite a headache!

Fargo, ND – Yes, it’s that dangerous time of the year once again when large icicles are precariously hanging high above the Downtown Fargo sidewalks.

Such was the case when Mr. Ace Leidich slowly sauntered along while unknowingly entering a red-zone area with very large icicles hanging from the rooftop sixty four feet up.

Unfortunately for Ace, one of the larger and more pointed icicles suddenly broke off as he was almost directly below it.

After a two second drop, the rather large icicle got stuck in the head of Mr. Ace Leidich.

Of course, being North Dakota tough, Ace did not realize he had an icicle stuck is his head until he got home, where Mrs. Leidich casually asked about it.

Pointedly, all of the letters in “Ace Leidich” can be melted down into spelling: Icicle Head!

Global Cooling Forces Fargo To Purchase Ice Breaker For Red River

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The USS Fargo

Fargo, ND – “Drastic times require drastic measures,” notes Marvin Nimmaster, president of the Red River Coast Guard Society as the City of Fargo has voted unanimously to purchase a Class-D All-Weather Icebreaker from the country of Iceland as Algore’s Global Cooling Initiative begins to pick up some glacial momentum from the International Council of Temperature Mitigation efforts to manage Earth’s water’s changing modal properties.

The USS Fargo along with its highly trained crew of 75 will work tirelessly to keep the Red River of the North ice-free from Wahpeton to Winnipeg as concerned climatologists foresee many major ice storms which threaten to shut down the transportational aspect of our economy leaving only the Red River as the last viable means to thorough-fare goods and people to differing latitudes.

Marvin Nimmaster on the reality of Global Cooling: “The imminent threat of the Earth icing up like a giant snow cone is no longer an arguable hoax that can be joked about by climatological comedians but rather is as real as the moose standing in the middle of the road as your vehicle is trying to slam on its brakes to avoid having the thousand pound beast land in your lap while you’re trying to get to grandma’s house to go sip some eggnog.”