Tag Archives: instagram

Hashtag Pro

The Pro Hashtagger

What better way to spend your time than hashtagging the shit out of something.  Whenever I see a picture with hashtags the first thing I think of is, “How can I hashtag the ever living shit out of this thang.”

The commentator below decided the picture alone as well as the comments section didn’t have enough hashtags.  Through hell and high water were they going to leave this picture without the proper hashtags.  If a giant asteroid was going to hit the earth in five min, these pro hashtaggers would rather die making hashtags than seek shelter underground.  Hence their post below.

hashtag pro

Now was that really necessary?  They hashtagged the shit out of this photo via describing the entire damn picture in visual and mental hashtags.  If that is the case, let me add my own visual, mental, and physical hashtags that I think are missing in order to describe this picture in detail.

#poopisinmyrectumbutyoucantseeit #bangedtwoguysatsametimeonce #pastoutonshitter #bleedsfromvaginamonthly

#myselfieisbetterthanyourselfie #noduckfaceforyou #thisismymirror #thisismycamera #therearemanylikeitbutthisoneismine

#Mymirrorismybestfriend #itismylife #ImustmasteritasImustmastermylife #ifartintheshower #tanninglotionqueen


I think this picture is properly hashtagged now.  No more guessing as to what is actually going on in the photo as it is properly described in full detail.   Am I right or am I right?

Instagram Changes Terms Of Service

Instagram Changes Terms Of Service. Users Threaten To Stop Taking Shitty Pictures.

Instagram Changes Terms Of ServiceFargo, ND – On Monday, Instagram, the popular photo app and website, updated its terms of service.  This left its large user base unhappy and threatening to stop taking shitty pictures and leaving the app and website all together.

Instagram stated:

Some or all of the Service may be supported by advertising revenue. To help us deliver interesting paid or sponsored content or promotions, you agree that a business or other entity may pay us to display your username, likeness, photos (along with any associated metadata), and/or actions you take, in connection with paid or sponsored content or promotions, without any compensation to you. If you are under the age of eighteen (18), or under any other applicable age of majority, you represent that at least one of your parents or legal guardians has also agreed to this provision (and the use of your name, likeness, username, and/or photos (along with any associated metadata)) on your behalf.

You acknowledge that we may not always identify paid services, sponsored content, or commercial communications as such.


Basically, Instagram wants to sell your shitty pictures to companies that may want to use them.

This didn’t sit well with it’s users.  They took to facebook and twitter, as well as collectively voiced their disdane on every blog they could find.  Some actually deleted their accounts.  But get this, some actually put down their phone and bathed, ate, and called their significant other to try and savor whatever relationship they had left.

You see, instagramers are always instagramming.  There is no time for anything else.  One instagrammer stated, “It’s like a drug.  Everything I see I feel the NEED to take a picture of it and totally destroy it with instagram.  Like yesterday, I took a dump, and totally had to take a picture of it.  I turned shit into worse shit.  You see?”

Instagram was just testing the waters.  They wanted to see how much they could get away with and seemed to have crossed the line a tish too much.  Today they came out with a reply:

The language we proposed also raised question about whether your photos can be part of an advertisement. We do not have plans for anything like this and because of that we’re going to remove the language that raised the question. Our main goal is to avoid things likes advertising banners you see in other apps that would hurt the Instagram user experience. Instead, we want to create meaningful ways to help you discover new and interesting accounts and content while building a self-sustaining business at the same time.

Basically they said, “LOL…JUST KIDDING!! HA HA!”

Wait until Instragram finds a better lawyer with a better use of words.  This way instagrammers will still be clueless and can continue on taking pictures of banana peels, socks, carpet, and basically everything else.

Android Gets Instagram. Apple Fans’ Buttholes Hurt.

Fargo, ND – The ever so popular Instagram iPhone application popular among dirty hipsters and dumb fucks in general, was released for Android a couple days ago.  In case you didn’t know how much I love Instagram, you can read my rant Instragram Sucks and So Do You.  Following the release, butthurt Apple fans took to Twitter and Facebook to vent their hate and disgust.  As if you didn’t need anymore reasons to hate these prime candidates for natural dissection, continue below.



Somebody needs to tell this fanboy that Steve Jobs didn't create the Instagram app.


While working on putting this article together, I learned that there is an actually hashtag on twitter named #teamiphone.  Seriously, what is wrong with these people?  After browsing twitter with this hashtag I am no longer annoyed by apple fanboys but now absolutely despise them and wouldn’t think twice about dropping a bomb on these corporate masterbaters.  So now with the release of instagram on android, we can look forward to more ephemeromorphs taking shitty pictures.  Great day for humanity.  Great day indeed.

Instagram Sucks and So Do You

Instagram Sucks and So Do You

Instagram Sucks and So Do YouWhat is Instagram you ask?  It is an Apple and Android application where over 15 million sheep users like to masturbate with each other over vintage pictures they take.  Instagram gives these hipsters users access to many different types of photo filters so any idiot can now look artsy.  What many of these filters actually do is degrade the picture to look like it’s from the 1950’s, 1960’s, or 1970’s.  You get the picture.  Essentially what these morons people are doing is continually slapping the shit out of and continually taking big large dirty dumps on the hundreds of engineers that dedicated their lives to improving this technology.


We have gone from this..


to this..



A god damn cellular phone that takes pictures!  A phone that takes professional quality pictures!


Instagram Hippster Trash Fuck YouNow check out this picture to the left.  Can you guess what camera this was taken from?   You guessed the old one?  NOPE!  It was taken from the small PHONE that takes PICTURES in the YEAR 2012!!  It’s amazing……..ly stupid of you to take a magnificent piece of technology, take a good quality picture with it, and then essentially destroy it and make it look like shit for the sake of being a shitty hipster.  You fail at life and you fail at taking pictures.

So just stop it.  How about you just use your phone for calling people and disable your camera.  You are not artsy.  You are not deep.  You look like someone with severe brain damage confused about what sock to put on which foot.  If you like old pictures so much how about you actually become useful and build a TIME MACHINE.  Then you can go back in time and use those shitty cameras to take your shitty pictures with.