“What could have been fairly simple somehow ended up being extremely complicated and confusing.”
East Fargo, MN – After having used it for a while now, many are seriously scratching their heads while wondering what the hell went wrong during the early planning stages of the I-94 interchange at Moorhead’s Eighth Street.
One of the main comments we hear over and over is that there seems to be too many random roads running in seemingly random directions which makes the aerial map of this intersection look like cracks in a shattered windshield.
One possible reason for the obvious subpar planning could be that a new (but untested) computer function called “Random Suggestion” was used (too much) by traffic planners in what insiders refer to as “splashing the plan”.
Luckily, Moorhead’s quadruple diverging diamond interstate interchange only cost the taxpayers about $14,000,000 and it does seem to work rather well for those who have used it enough to become familiar with its plethora of peculiarities.
Golf Pro Wade Lancer does not see playing golf over Interstate-94 as a big problem.
Fargo, ND – In an effort to keep up with a growing demand for golf courses in the greater Fargo-Moorhead area, Urban Golf Association Partners (UGAP) is opening its newest challenge along Interstate 94.
It is called Fargo Diversions and its catchy slogan is: “We put the PAR in Party!” This unique golf course will have players actually shooting over I-94 in multiple places.
Its designers have added five extra holes so that par for the course is 94 shots in honor of the Interstate Highway 94.
“This 23 hole golf course will possibly be the location for the 2026 US Open Golf Tournament if things proceed as we have foreseen them,” says golf pro Wade Lancer who encourages you to please call the clubhouse and make your reservations to play Fargo’s newest and funnest golf course.
FM Observer: “But what about the cars? What about people playing golf across I-94? Doesn’t UGAP see this as a potential problem?”
Golf Pro Wade Lancer: “Well, we figure most FM area golfers are good enough to not hit a fracking car, and besides that, it’s not easy to hit a moving target so the golfers probably couldn’t hit a car or truck even if they were trying to.”
Travelling 29 mph down the interstate highway, with no worries, not a care in the… What are those flashing red lights?!
Fargo, ND – State Highway Patrol pulled over an elderly Fargo driver who was travelling at a very low rate of speed on Interstate-29.
Mr. Cornwall Wilbertson had for some reason decided to take the interstate when driving from North Fargo to West Acres to do some early Christmas shopping.
A number of drivers who passed him on the highway noted that if Cornwall was going any slower, he’d be completely stopped in the middle of his south-bound lane.
Mr. Wilbertson was arrested and booked for being a public nuisance and driving almost half of the minimum speed on a major interstate highway.
When asked what he was thinking, Mr. Wilbertson said: “Well, I was thinking about old time Christmases, with the eggnog and the mistletoe, and then we watched The Wizard of Oz on our brand new color television. I remembered how we always played pinochle after our Christmas meal and before opening presents. Member how Uncle Charlie always brought us nuts and oranges from his greenhouse? Member grandma always trying to play piano so we could sing Deck The Halls? Member when we made that snow fort after that big blizzard? Member when Dad drank too much? Member when Steven left a candle burning and burned the house down?“