Tag Archives: investigation

Mueller Seeks To Penetrate Trump’s Personal Inner Sanctum With Long Large Probe

Robert Mueller is focused on an elongated probe of President Trump’s inner world.

Washington, DC – Robert Mueller, the very special counsel appointed to investigate any and all possible links and/or coordination between the Russian government and the Donald Trump campaign is promising to leave no stones unturned.

No matter how long as it takes, the Mueller probe vows to penetrate all facts and leads to their end points, not unlike the vast network of tunnels in a large ant hill.

Even though it has been described by some as a witch hunt and/or fishing expedition, the Special Counsel’s inquisition will poke and prod until there is nothing left to explore and all possible federal crimes have been fully delved into, not unlike an extended presidential colonoscopy.

Cigar-Shaped Alien Spacecraft Actually A Large French Bread Heading For Fargo

Mr. Hankey believes this is indeed an alien spacecraft based on the fact that it actually has functional headlights.

Oumuamua, Hawaii – The FM Observer is proudly excited to exclusively report that we have just received confirmation from Mr. Hankey that the large meteor which is on a collision course with Fargo, North Dakota is actually an alien spacecraft disguised as a giant French bread even though CNN has been referring to it as one of Bill Clinton’s wayward cigars.

Mr. Hankey in his own words: “By using special equipment at our FM Observatory on Hawaii, we have noticed that the alien French bread not only has headlights, but they are actually turned on, and aiming directly at Fargo, North Dakota.”

“Not only that, but we have also picked up radio waves from this French bread which seem to be continually broadcasting Rush Limbaugh’s theme song, intermittently interrupted with a high-pitched voice asking for a secret meeting with Donald Trump and his son-in-law.”

Because of this new revelation, special counsel Robert Mueller now believes President Trump (with some assistance from Stephen Hawking) has been colluding with aliens, which are seemingly on a collision course with Fargo, North Dakota, whilst travelling at the speed of bread inside a large French-made spacecraft waiting to be lit like a Clintonian cigar.